Another new addition

This afternoon around 5ish my amazing sis in law gave birth to their first born! Congrats to Jon and Amy on the birth of JJ Konzelman! (Jonathan Robert) was 6.5lbs and 18in long!

I just had to brag a little bit... I mean, look at them! :)

On the tree

This morning as I was playing with Ava near the Christmas tree - I got all sentimental, as I normally do, as I noticed each of the ornaments we have on our 3 ft tree. Every ornament has been a gift, something homemade, or simply something that has great value to us. Nothing has been expensive or put on there without thought and this includes the actual tree, too.

Two Christmases ago I felt like my world was falling apart. You can read about that in earlier blog posts from 2007...but to sum it all up... I had miscarried Dec. 3rd and really had no joy about Christmas or traveling to see family or anything. We had an 18 hour drive to IA coming up to see Brad's family, I was in physical and mental/spiritual pain and I just wanted this whole Christmas thing to go away. I'm sure Brad was completely bewildered with what to do with me. While he was feeling pain of our loss as well, its different for guys, obviously. My hormones and emotions felt so out of control - I cried a lot and our house def. did not have any signs of "Christmas Cheer" by way of decorations, music or anything. Looking back... I know that was okay. It was ok to mourn and grieve, and I also now know how much Brad supported ALL of that time in our lives. Love him! Anyway, that Christmas will always been very tender and dear to me. Despite our pain... Brad snuck out one night and purchased this little 3 ft plastic Christmas tree. He knew how badly I was hurting and how torn I felt about it being Christmas but balancing this pain, too. So, this tree was set up and we started to decorate it. We only had a few ornaments, mostly, "Our first Christmas" themed ones, but...it was prelit and beautiful. I remember once we finished how I just sat there in front of it like a child and sobbed. Brad sat with me, quietly, and I just let his love for me (and Christ's) heal my soul. I would survive.

Fast forward one year later. Ava's original due date was Dec. 3rd. How WEIRD is that?! But, after another ultrasound they moved her to the 9th...and she still didn't come til the 16th anyway, but... still, cool story. That year was SO dramatically different. We had gone from extreme loss to extreme gain. I remember bringing Ava home and that little 3 ft tree just stood there shining...with our ornaments on it, and of course, I sobbed again. I think I always will. These tears were a combination of memories past and memories in the making. I held my little bundle of baby girl one night sitting in front of it - remembering and experiencing God's grace and mercy in our lives. We hung some "baby's first Christmas" ornaments up and just reveled in the glory of our JUST God. I had survived, and I would still.

All this to say - this tree, and the ornaments on it are so special to me. Many people make out trees to be a negative Christmas thing, and for some it probably is a distraction from the REAL reason for Christmas, being Christ himself. But for us, for me, this tree represents Christ in our lives. It represents all of the grace He has shown us, the bounty and even the loss we experience during our walk with Him. This morning I felt overwhelmed and bathed in the Love of my Heavenly Father. Looking at each ornament, and holding my almost 1 year old at the same time... this walk is not always easy, but it is always good. On my tree, I guess you could say, I wear my heart. :)

On a day like this...

The last two days we've had some snow.

Ahem... we've had lots of snow.

Ahem again... we've had a blizzard. I believe the weather man labeled it as "epic". Interesting.

This is the view from my back door. I don't go out when its like this - never mind the 45mph wind gusts! No thank you! I love to adore it from the inside. :) So, this is my poor car - all drifted in. And below is a pic of what our neighbors yards looked like...

Needless to say...it was a day of Christmas movies, baking and spending time in the warm, cozy (candle scented) house. On a day like this... we capture some great family moments. On a day like this... we see all our reasons to be thankful. And on a much lighter note - on a day like this... we make Christmas cookies! To your left you'll see "Chess Brownies" - they are for my candle party tomorrow night. Made with yellow cake mix, cream cheese, etc. Delish! I also attempted some "Spritz" cookies...but, I guess I'm not smart enough to work the press so I just smooshed 'em down on the pan and hoped for the best. It worked fairly well. But, then I got tired of squeezing the press and refilling it over and over ( I know, patience of a saint, right?!) so I just rolled out the rest of the butter dough and used my teeny tiny cookie cutters. :) And, they turned out even better! It ended up taking much longer then I had planned and went into "play with Ava" time, so Daddy (since his office was closed today!!!) had some extra time to sit and play with Miss Ava. She now loves reading and was happy to share her Noah story with him.

I hope your day, whether it was snowy or regular was a great one!

Merry Christmas!

I asked God for strength that I might achieve.
I was made weak, that I might learn to obey.
I asked for health, that I might do greater things.
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy.
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need for God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing I asked for - but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among all people, truly blessed.
~Author Unknown~

Obviously, I have no idea who wrote that little diddy up there. It's in the very back of a book I read over the summer and came to mind this morning. You see, I've been going through some personal growing pains and a lot of that poem reminds me of me lately. We won't go into a lot of detail...but, I have so far to grow.
Sunday our pastor gave a great message in our new series, "Jesus Messiah" that has stuck on my mind the last few days. And while I furiously scribbled away notes I really only remember one main thought - sometimes, during this Christmas season, rather then feeling the joy and love of the celebration of Christ...this time of the year brings people down. And one of the reasons is because we can easily worship a little baby in a manger, but we have a hard time worshipping a baby that came to DIE for our sins. We can't picture a baby that was sent to die. Although we should... another on the opposite end... we just don't get what Christmas REALLY is. We get so caught up in the gift giving (and getting), rushing for last minute sales, hours in the kitchen preparing meals, traveling long distances with whiny kids, snow, ice, bad roads... busy malls, annoying people in return lanes at stores, a list of people to buy for without the money to buy... etc. So instead of taking 25 days to solely focus on the birth of our Savior, the one who came to save us - we are distracted by everything else. Get's us down. Get's me down. I can't even tell you how many times just in the last few days that I've found myself on the verge of tears over nothing more then holiday stress. And, that's even AFTER purposing in my heart to really focus this year on TRUTH. My hubby is doing a great series with our teens, "Christmas Conspiracy", talking about the truth of how Satan is doing all he can do distract us from what Christmas really is...making it about us, about getting, about Santa and anything else he can to take away from Christ. Revelation goes into the story of the dragon and the woman in labor - the dragon representing Satan. Check out the story for a vivid picture of satan's attempts to kill our Jesus. Hint: he failed! And now makes every attempt to distract us... Good stuff. (Romans 12) Here's a link to some of the verses we covered... (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation%2012&version=ESV)

Anyway, wow, I sound like a downer. I'm really not. I'm so thankful for this time of year and for so many reasons. I'm especially thankful that the Holy Spirit can translate my unspoken prayers and knows my heart... when I'm down or longing or whatever. I am truly blessed, WE are truly blessed. Today I want to re-purpose (this really is a daily thing for me) to focus on my Jesus. The one who came in human form in humility, born in a filthy cattle stall to a teen girl named Mary. Making Himself low... in obedience to the Father for MY good.

I'm a jumble of thoughts today and my brain was working faster then my fingers...
If you are interested in hearing Pastor Nemmers message from this past Sunday you can go to www.saylorvillebaptist.com and click on the link for , "Spitten Image". It's worth your time!

Survivor Month

A few years ago, probably 3, a great friend of mine, (Meredith Jackson) someone I look up to A LOT was talking to me about a concept she and her hubby had adopted involving grocery shopping. She did regular shopping, used coupons I'm sure, etc. but, once a month or every other month they did something called, "Survivor Week". Let me explain... For one week (or however long you can do this) they would not buy any groceries, but instead use up things they already had in the house to 1) save money 2) be creative with already purchased foods. In this way they did save money and the creativity flowed. :) Brad and I attempted this often the first year and usually ended up going out to eat which completely killed the point of it! But, I did always try. I just wasn't prepared.

Over the years I continued to try and incorporate this into our lifestyle. I would stock up my pantry with sale items and bust out my "Can Opener Gourmet" cookbook and then go to town, figuratively. I'd try to watch when carrots and celery went on sale so I could stock up - they seem to be the base for lots of things! So, Brad and I got a little better at this and actually quite a few GREAT meals came out of it. Not to mention money saved on using canned foods that were still plenty nutritional! (by the way, I DO recommend this book)

All this to say - Brad and I have decided to have a "Survivor Month" for the month of December. But only in regards to our main meals. I'll still be shopping for baking goods, etc. because I bake for gifts and it IS Christmas... gotta have baked goods!

So, after we finished all of the Thanksgiving leftovers (which took a week...ew, I know) I opened up the cupboards and fridge/freezer to see how I could be creative. It's kind of a challenge for me because I'm not a creative cook AT ALL and fully rely on my cookbooks. Anyway, the first night I remembered I had purchased two pork loin roasts when they were BOGO (free) @ Hyvee a few months back. So the first night we had a delicious garlic/lemon pork roast with creamed corn and rolls. Not too shabby. Which then led to shredded pork sandwiches the next day. I was feeling good about myself... I CAN do this survivor thing! Ava even loved the roast, so double score! Lastnight I had one massive bag of rice, a bag of frozen broccoli pieces, 10 bags of frozen cheese (Hyvee 10 for $10 a few weeks back), some canned cream soups and a can of bread crumbs. Voila... Cheesy broccoli casserole! And you know what? It tasted SO good! :) I don't normally brag, but, it really was great!

I'm just really encouraged and excited to save money this month, by not buying groceries and probably overspending on them. (guilty) This frees us up to give to others MORE and keeps me from additional snacking during the day. I'm eager to learn more "survivor recipes" and I'm excited to see what we come up with for the rest of the month. I'm also really thankful for Meredith and the wisdom that I gained from watching her over the years. She is an excellent woman, wife and friend. Someone I would love to model after... So, Mere's if you read this - love ya! Here she is with her hubby, Jax, we miss them both so much!

Introducing: Bakerella

Ok, so maybe its not sooo new...but, new to me. This morning as I was leafing through my new "Better Homes and Gardens" magazine I came across their "what's on our site" page and they were showing excerpts from "Bakerella". Intrigued I read on. She's kind of famous for her mini cupcakes on a stick which of course then kept me reading. Good stuff. So, after finishing the magazine I headed to the computer to check out her site... and ladies, if you are at all into baking, sweets or just cute things...you will LOVE this site! Right now she's doing a piece about the new book, "The Farm Chicks in the kitchen" which is another thing I'm kind of interested in lately. Double score for me! I haven't read this cookbook/craft book YET so I won't recommend it...but, it looks really neat and after it goes on sale I might buy it. :) (I am THAT cheap)

But, I have looked over Bakerella's website and its adorable. She's appeared on Martha and just has a ton of really cute ideas. :)
http://www.bakerella.com/


Someday I'll learn how to do links, but for now... enjoying actually clicking on the website, or just find it your own way :)

Discipline

I had a heart breaking, yet EXCITING moment in child rearing (is that how you spell that) this morning...

Ava is obsessed with my plug in oil warmer things & equally obsessed with taking cans out of the recycle trash can (a smaller white can we keep by the garbage can in the kitchen). Both of which are huge "No, No's", obviously. Recently she's been adamant about going after these items and seems to look at me with a "look what I'm doing" attitude. Ugh. She even as recent as yesterday would point to me, smile very ornery-ily and then go for for the goods. A-nnoying!

Now, I love this child. And I want the very best things for her - which would include NOT being poisoned with scented oil or having her tiny fingers chopped apart by sharp empty pop cans. {sigh} So, now, when she goes towards the items she gets a stern verbal warning - to which she smiles or moves faster towards them. Once she touches the items, despite my warnings, she gets a smack on the hand and moved to a time out spot. I've been frustrated because I seem to be doing this all the time. People have said that I should just remove the temptations, but, I just don't agree - She has to learn to obey and LIVE in his house with us. And I know she's so little still...but, no better time to teach then early. :)

Anyway - yesterday was a really bad day with her getting into these things. So, I kind of felt like maybe it was time to step up this teaching/discipline thing and make it a little more serious. She now KNOWS how wrong this is. Introduce : spanking. (gasp!) I come from a long line of spankers. I'm a fan of it, if its done in love and followed up with more love. But, I am evidence that this form of discipline really does work. So, sure enough here goes Ava towards the oil warmer. I sternly say, "no" accompanied with a head shake and furrowed brow. (the whole mom look, ya know!) She keeps her eyes on me while reaching toward the warmer - and, is that a smirk I see?! So, I remove her hand look into her eyes and deliver one fairly light pat on the bumper with a "no" to boot. Her eyes widen and she lays her head on my shoulder... possibly an "I'm sorry mom?". Well, I'm not holding my breath on that. Anyway, after 2 spanks - she didn't mess with them anymore.

Then, TA-DA, today came. I headed upstairs to grab something from our room and it took a few minutes longer then planned. So, as I usually do - I talk to Ava from the top of the stairs just to make sure she's ok. No answers. Usually she babbles and talks back - nothing today. So I speak up... "Ave's, whatcha doing? Mommy's gonna come get you", etc. Nothing. So, I head down stairs and sure enough in the kitchen I see her little head by the oil warmer...but she doesn't see me. I walk into the kitchen and she freezes, looks up at me, and then... starts to cry. Ava disciplined herself today. I really do think she KNEW she was doing something naughty and got busted. She's very smart. So I sat down next to her and held her close and pointed at the warmer, "no, no... that is not a toy, not for Ava" and she just laid there watching me explain. I told her I loved her and gave her a smooch on the head - then we left the area. All the while my heart just in shreds over seeing that pouty lip and genuine sadness.

I've heard so many debates about spanking.... pro's and cons. And I'm not here to debate that at all. But, to share my experience. My 11 month old gets it. She's not abused or mistreated by any means... but she gets it! She's starting to understand more and more. And the more she understands and the more consistent I am with her - the less its needed. So my victory today was that Ava understood circumstances of touching the oil warmer! I'm praising the Lord for giving me patience enough yesterday to remain consistent instead of just letting it roll over. I found this shirt online which just made me laugh out loud... maybe you will get a kick out of it, too. The title of this shirt is: "I'm not spoiled, I am loved".