Happy Homemaker Monday!

The weather in my neck of the woods: Outside my kitchen window - the thermometer reads in the 100's! Geesh! Let's just say... I'm not going anywhere.

Things that make me happy: Frozen Gogurts, happy baby in the swing, toddler napping.

Book I'm reading: "Loving the Little Years" by Rachel Jankovic. I could go on and on and on about that little book. Awesome.

What's on my TV today: It's off! But I so enjoy Brian Williams newscast at 5:30.

On the menu for dinner: Having some possible new youth leaders over tonight, which means... PIZZA ordered in! :) Gusto Pizza downtown is amazing!

On my To Do List: Search ads to see what I can score for free or cheap this week, laundry, general tidying, call to see why our mortgage went up. :/

New Recipe I tried or want to try soon: Hmmm... still using up leftovers and enjoying meals brought to us. God is so good. But I am eager to try out a new taco salad I found in a magazine.

In the craft basket: Well, we are putting up a new dining room light. Does that count?

Looking forward to this week: Aug's 2 month appointment tomorrow, Playdate Weds, GIRLS NIGHT on Friday! :) Looking forward to some time out of the house with friends.

Tips and Tricks: Potty Training our 2 year old is very interesting. I've found that positive reinforcement is working best. And reminding her of her older friends and how they "go" seems to make her more interested, too.

My favorite blog post this week: none.

Blog Hopping (a new discovered blog you would like to share with the readers): failed on this one, too.

No words needed (favorite photo or picture, yours or others you want to share):

Lesson learned the past few days: After a 6 day stay in the hospital away from my spouse and babies and 2 months of sickness... I'm learning how important it is to lean on friends and family. God gave us an amazing church and ministry and I'm so thankful to call them "family".

On my mind: My friend Becca struggling with cancer. :( Praying for you Becca! And wondering what my blood tests this morning will reveal. Is Liver back to norm?

Devotionals, Scripture Reading, Key Verses:
Loved the reminder from Proverbs 18 today that the man who is slothful or lazy in his work is just like someone who is a destroyer. I needed that reminder and motivation!

Happy Monday!

August Hope - 2 Months already?

This morning I was able to be back in church. Wow - what an encouragement to be back with the "body". What a blessing to be able to stand and sing to God and praise Him despite the hard times and questioning. It felt good. I'm so thankful for all the Lord has pulled me through, or, I should say carried me through. And deep inside somewhere I'm thankful that He has allowed me to go through this. I am learning things... but, still piecing those things together.

I realized that today is August' 2 month birthday! 2 months already?! Now I know I've been a pretty sick momma - but, has 2 whole entire months really just blown by? As I was holding her in church tonight I was just memorizing every movement and twitch as she slept. I've heard people say that baby #2 seems to grow a little bit faster... but, my heart is not ready for the speed of this kiddo. She is a gem.

August fun facts:

- At 2 months old she holds her head right up there!

- Cracks herself up. I've never seen such a little baby giggle so much. Especially loves mommas face and sisters singing.

- Still only drinking around 3 or 4 oz. at a time, doesn't seem to be as serious about eating as baby #1 was. Kinda takes her time and enjoys it.

- Sleeping around 5 to 6 hours at night. She was doing 11p-6a stretches while I was in the hospital. Let's just say... that has NOT been happening since I've gotten back. {It's like they know}

- Last week she weighed in at 12 pounds. :) Has her 2 mo appointment this week - we'll see what they say.

- Likes to sleep on her right side face buried in a blanket. Makes momma nervous, but, thats what she likes.

- Just started trying to touch things... mostly me, while eating. It's precious.

I found this pic of Ava around August' age now - and I just can't believe the similarities.

Ava around 6ish weeks...

And here below - August, this afternoon.

I should look harder and find pictures, because...seriously, it's like having another mini-Ava. :) Looks wise anyway. What a blessing this precious bundle is~ I love you August Hope!

Momma

I'm so glad I came across this book by Rachel Jankovic - "Loving the Little Years". I've mentioned it a few times now, and I find myself telling more and more people about it. It's such a tiny little thing jam packed full of wisdom, insight and truth. Since the focus of my life right now has been "taking care of mommy" so I can actually be mommy effectively again - I was so encouraged and challenged by her chapter titled "Me Time".

My idea of "me time" right now is having 5 minutes to drink my coffee while its still hot. Usually by 11:45 as I'm giving Ava her lunch I'm still finishing that "hot" coffee - now having been nuked at least 5 times in attempt. I'm adjusting. Another "me time" activity is folding laundry. It's so calming for me - and makes me feel like things are actually getting done. I can clean this house from top to bottom and it takes that same toddler mentioned above 3 minutes to undo the whole thing. With laundry, I can wash, dry, fold it and get it put away and feel like something actually got done! I do struggle with selfishness in this area. I want "me time" instead of changing a diaper. I want to be "left alone" for "just 2 minutes" to brush my teeth or pee in silence. And not that those are wrong things - but, I so lack the grace and patience somedays. Especially when I'm not feeling the greatest. But I'm learning.

Anyway, Rachel had some wonderfully challenging things to say about this topic. Things that are still echoing through my brain on a daily basis as I continue to recover and re-learn how to mommy these precious girls. And while my mind races thinking of the 30 some pounds I need to lose, the newly identified stretches and "extras" post baby #2 has left me - I'm encouraged that I'm doing exactly what I need to do by just BEING.

"Motherhood uses your body in the way that God designed it to be used. Those are the right kind of damages."

"Scars and stretch marks and muffin tops are all part of your kingdom work."

My favorite part of this chapter was where she helps us identify the whole myth of the "forgetting who I was" kind of mentality. This is something that rings true for me right now -

"...the Christian view of self is very different, and you need to make sure that it is the one you have. We are like characters in a story. Our essential self is not back in the intro, waiting to be rediscovered. Who you are is where you are. When you are married, your essential self is married. As the story grows, so does your character. Your children change you into a different person. If you suddenly panic because it all happened so fast and now you don't recognize yourself, what you need is not time alone. What you need is your people. Look out - look at the people who made you what you are - your husband and your children. Study them. They are you. If you want to know yourself, concentrate on them."

Ah, isn't that so true?! When I get caught up in "what I once was" or start to feel sorry for myself because I'm so tired, so worn out, so...different. What a great perspective changer that I'm doing exactly what God has for me. And that is exactly what I need to focus on right now. I'm getting stronger, and when I start to get down or confused or frustrated - I can look up and see the faces and remember God's goodness and Grace. Who I am is where I am. I am momma. And thankfully - I know from God's word that these trials and tests and hard times are perfecting my patience...growing my faith... and teaching me to see.

Ministry Update

Two weeks ago my hubs along with several of our teens made our/their first ever missions-trek down to Louisiana. New Orleans, to be more specific. While I didn't get to go with them - we prayed them on and now looking over their pics I know God is doing something big in our youth group. I'm so thankful for a husband whose passion for the Lost and for our God is so much bigger then I can understand sometimes.

We so desire for these teens to magnify the Lord with their lives! And its so refreshing and rewarding to hear the stories, see the pictures and hear the passion in their voices. May God be praised!

Brad put together a really cool video of their trip. If you have a second check it out here on Youtube. Very exciting stuff! :) So proud of my hubs and these students!

*Pictures courtesy of Elevate Student Ministry Facebook page.

still hangin' on

I didn't think that by July 13th I would still be writing about being sick.
I also didn't expect this "day by day" mentality to get to me. I'm ok with "day by day" or "day at a time" because I know that's all we have anyway.

But, all the same...

July 13th. And I feel like the tunnel I'm in has no end. I know there is light at the end of it, I see it faintly. But for right now it's just turn after turn of tunnel. I'm still hangin' on and we'll get through this - but I would be lying if I acted like it was easy.

Saw my Infectious Disease doctor today. Doesn't that just sound lovely? INFECTIOUS DISEASE. Ugh. He says while my liver enzyme levels are coming down - they are still rediculously high. Normal is in like the 60's. I was in the 600's and am now in the 300's. So yea - a liver freak. Which explains my ZERO energy. Literally zero. Walk across the room and call it a day is my level of energy. Makes life interesting with 2 kids 2 and under.

My family came to be with me and take care of me this week - which was awesome. I hadn't seen my brother and his family in months. We packed 6 adults, 2 toddlers and 2 babies into this place and I loved every second of it. I miss them so much already. What a blessing to have a close family.

Sitting here has completely drained me. So, time for a nap. I'm hangin' on - God has me in His hand, and I know that.

still hangin

bad times, sickness, poorer, worse

Well isn't that a pleasant title?

Bare with me.

Yesterday I {finally} got to come home from the hospital after 6 of the longest, most confusing days of my life. I don't have the energy to sit here and tell the whole story - but, over those 6 days I have been...


-jabbed by a zillion needles and eventually given a picc line. ick.
-tested for HIV, hepatitis and a whole slew of other things that were so far out of reality...
-seen at least 10 Dr's. All of which let me know what a "strange" case I was. thank you.
-had an 11 hour stay in the ER
-xrays, cat scans, drinkable inks, blood pressure cuffs, more blood draws in abundance.

I'm tired. I'm weary. I'm still confused by it all and I have a million and a half questions that no one can answer. Tomorrow I head back to the first of a few "follow up" Dr appointments and I dread them. They found something "different" on my ultrasound of my gall bladder/liver. While no one would really explain, tomorrow a dr will.

So, as Brad had to once again load up his wife and take her to the ER last week... I was thinking about how funny vows are. We say those happy little things on our wedding days and do we even stop to think what the "opposites" look like? Of course not - it's a happy day. I guess that's normal. I just remember saying to my husband,
"well, welcome to bad times, sickness, being poor and worse all at the same time." We both just gave a weird smile. It's accepted right now.

I know God has a plan in this.
It's just hard.