Friday, April 4, 2008

Waiting on the Lord

So, if you are a man... maybe, don't read this blog entry. If you are a woman, a sympathetic woman - read on.

I'm 4 days late. I'm two negative pregnancy tests late. Obviously, after being one day late I was elated thinking that the Lord had blessed us with another child... just as I had been praying. So I suited up and headed to my local Rite Aid and purchased the infamous pink box... let the testing begin. Now, four days later...and two "no go" tests, I'm confused and wondering what's going on. I called my OB nurse who helped me through my miscarriage in November and she was not that helpful. Told me not to be worried until you have three consecutive months of missed cycles. THREE MONTHS!!! I've never been a day past normal in my life...

Is there such a thing as delayed ovulation? Because, I'm pretty sure that happend to me this month. I'm pretty sure I ovulated like 4 days before I was supposed to start my period. Which, again, not normal for me - and has never happened before. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME??! If I had delayed ovulation...it could take another 2 weeks before either a period or positive test could turn out. TWO WEEKS!!!! That would put me in the day 45ish zone.... I've never been like that. Hmmm... this truly is the curse at its finest.


I'm working on memorizing Matthew 7. The chapter that discussed our needs... and how God will meet them.... our NEEDS. Is being pregnant and having a family a need? Because for my entire life I have been convinced that it is... I need to serve the Lord with a family. I need to give my husband children and carry on his name... I need to fulfill the role that women were intended for. Maybe someday I'll look back at all of this and get a good laugh at myself. But for now... I'm just waiting on the Lord and his timing - because it is perfect, and he IS GOOD.


And this.... is a dream.... a dream that I just can't shake. Something I desire so much that sometimes I can almost feel it.

8 comments:

Crystal said...

i wish i was anywhere near being that regular! with my PCOS I normally have periods between 45-80 days apart! ick! makes it a bit hard to predict things.

do you do your temps and stuff?

Mandolin said...

No, I dont' know how - teach me. :)

Kijar said...

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Crystal said...

well... here's the chart that i print out and have by my bed. with a pen. get a special thermomater (you can get them at target and such...) that is especially for tracking basal body temps. generally... it is best if you take your temperature right when you wake up. and it's best if it's around the same time each day.

http://www.babypartner.com/tools/charts/fertility/bbt.pdf

and that chart has space to chart other stuff too that can be handy.

here's wikipedia's info on basal body temps...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basal_body_temperature

here's the site explaining the use of the chart and such... it's helpful.

http://www.babypartner.com/tools/fertility-and-conception/charts/basal-body-temperature-chart.php

obviously we shouldn't obsess about such things.... but... it's helpful to keep track :)

Laura Siegrist said...

first of all, before i comment about your post, the comment by kijar is spam. don't click on it. mandy, you need to delete it and then you need to add the word verification to the comments. that way no spam can comment on your posts.

ok, now that that's out of the way :) i feel your frustration. i've never done the temp. thing, but i know it works, so it's worth trying it out if you want for next month if you're not pregnant. and yes, ovulation can be later in your cycle, but not necessarily making your period late. not everyone ovulates in the middle of the month. that's why the counting the days birth control method is not a wise choice. so...if you're sure you ovulated (i can usually tell too) it's possible that 1) you're not pregnant and it's just late or 2) your HcG levels are not high enough. some women don't show a positive until they're farther along, like 2 or 3 months even. however, that's unusual, but not unheard of. so...wait a few more days and then try another test.

i hope you have a resolution sometime soon. and keeping trusting!

Laura Siegrist said...

sooo...any news?

Crystal said...

i had a dream last night that you were pregnant....

and your husbands name was dale.

and my whole family came to your parents house and i was taking a shower in a tent in your spare room... getting ready for church.

weird.

Mandolin said...

That dream sounds hilarious! Dale!!!