Call me Flip Flop

Oh, it has been awhile on here, eh?
I'm working through some heavy thoughts lately and 50% of the time I feel like my head is on straight, I'm thinking biblically, trusting the Lord, etc. but then the other 50% of the time I'm like an indecisive, mopey monster. That's where I am right now. To be honest, I feel that I've been here for a year now. It comes and goes... my heart and mind arguing and feeling all flip flop. Because I'm a woman and most of my readers are too, I assume I'm not alone in this. We aren't alone. So I'll share today some of my common struggle and we can encourage one another.

Since becoming a wife and mother I seriously DO dream of a simple, satisfying, uncomplicated life. Ha! Writing that out sounds absurd so let me explain.
I, want to honor my husband.
I, want to do special things here and there to show love to him.
I, want to raise my children to respect and love.
I, want to be a fun mom.
I, want to bless my family with all the homemade memories. 
I, want to have a beautiful and comfortable home.
I, don't want to hassle with chore charts and arguments.
I, DESIRE comfort and beauty.

But, sin. It's everywhere. It's my marriage and rears its ugly head through selfishness and pride and anger. It's in my parenting as I seek my own way, answer harshly, or give in too easily. It's in my home as I often find myself lacking contentment for what we have (so much, too!) and pining for the newest, prettiest, whatever. (or in my case, the chippiest, shabbiest, antique) Sin, it's in our world and it affects everything. My family is not excluded. So I have all these desires and ambitions to be a blessing, to seek the Lord and just ooze Jesus in my home - but I get in my own way, quenching the spirit, letting pride ruin things and discontent sour my joy.

Some days I wake up and think - "this is it!". We are going to be grateful, eat what we have in the house, create beauty in our spaces with things we own, etc. But then 11:30 rolls around and in lieu of homemade soup I just want Chick-fil-a, a starbucks and that new bookshelf from Pottery Barn. I loose steam. I forget that God is good, all in a few hours. Because being frugal and wise with money is HARD and shall I even admit that sometimes I get WEARY of it. As if having more would make life easier. Newsflash: it doesn't.

So, I went to bed last night and as I lay there waiting for sleep to come I was literally flip flopping between two schools of thought:

1- I look forward to opportunities to be frugal. Grocery shopping, looking for deals and ways to stretch a buck intrigues me and challenges me. It's good! I've gotten really good at patching holes in kids clothes and watching the Lord blow us out of the water with his provisions in all things. I love this school of thought and I love being in it. I thought through budget meals and how we could cut out this and that to free up more money, reviewed in my mind the trip earlier that day to Goodwill where I found a beautiful Banana Republic sweater for $1.49! Yea baby! Frugal living, I love it! Bring on the challenge! Let's rock this budget.

But then. Almost simultaneously.

2 - I am SO tired of driving ALLLL that way to Aldi. I'm weary of pasta meals and generic diapers. Would it be SO bad to just have a descent new car? Will we ever be out from under these student loans? How long is seminary again? I hate the challenges of budget living, I want freedom, I want more. Stuff, stuff, stuff. Seems like all we do is pay bills. No vacations. No date nights. Blah.

I'm thankful that Lord is quick to draw to my attention His faithfulness in our lives. How he cares and loves and provides. He gives us work! He shelters us with a roof. We aren't promised and don't deserve more. And really it's not even just money that gets me all flip-floppity. It's most things: raising kids, keeping a home, who I am three kids later, what I like, etc.
The Lord is doing a work in my life and I have much to learn. For now, I give thanks! In all things give thanks, my friends. Fellow budget masters: You are loved! Moms feeling like failures, you are loved! Indecisive homemakers, you are loved.

.:Days and moments:.

My precious August Hope turned 4 last week. It still seems a little impossible to me that my little girl is four, but it's true. We had a special family party for her and the celebration was sweet.

She is one of my sweetest blessings. I could go on and on about her kind spirit, gentleness, the way she lavishes love and affection on me and her servants spirit. My middle girl is a gift. I'm so thankful to the Lord for giving her to me. When we asked her what kind of birthday she wanted her response was : "pink". No characters or details, just pink. So, pink it was! I whipped up a quick table cloth, make raspberry cream cheese frosted cupcakes and pink candies. Easy. Her only real request was to have birthday cake Oreo's at her party. :)

Her big birthday gift was her FIRST bike! She has spent the last few days trying it out, cleaning it, etc. But her favorite thing right now is pretending she's fixing it up. I gave her a few random tools and she spends so much time on the deck "working on it". It's adorable.

Oh sweet girl. I am so thankful for you and I love each and every moment we have together.
But, now can we freeze time?! The days are long but the years are so short. As with every birthday, I found myself stealing away now and again with teary eyes. Kissing her goodnight was emotional and while I truly rejoice that my children are healthy and growing... something hurts my heart as they get older and grow up.

Happy birthday August!

Speaking of growing up. I'm really preparing my heart for what comes next...
My (last) baby turns one next month.
 I can't even...
I waited my whole life to be a wife and mommy, and now I have these sad feelings about the fact that my baby days are wrapping up. Now, I know Miss Jane is still a baby and will be for awhile. But it seems like these days and moments are just flying by and it's more then my heart can bear. What will I do with my life once there is no longer a baby in the house? {sigh} I suppose many momma's go through such emotions.

Today Jane tried for the first time to hold her own bottle. I kinda wanted to stop her - but, that's our ultimate job, right? Training them to grow up. So I just locked eyes with her and we chatted during bottle time. She's such a perky little girl. I love her. How on earth am I so blessed three times over?!

We are gearing up for summer here and our first born finishes kindergarten on Tuesday. I'm praying and asking the Lord to give us a phenomenal summer together - really hoping the planning pays off! I would love your input on how you transitioned your school aged (in school) kids to a summer routine. I need some connection time with my first born and I think a summer together is just the ticket.

Life goes on around here. Our busy season of student ministry and life eases into a little more relaxed summer schedule. Time. We'll have more time to pour in and more time to slow down and just be. There are trips and plans mixed in - but I'm working hard at making sure we enjoy the days.
Yesterday I noticed this Cardinal nest in my front yard bush. THREE baby cardinals are coming!

It's little things like this that lately just cause my heart to soar. The Lord has put so much beauty around us and I just want to drink it up!

Tonight I was able to do just that - drink it in. The girls were in bed, the sun was setting and the deck was calling my name. Is there anything better then a warm spring night on the deck with a cup of coffee? I submit there is not. Listening to the birds get their families settled, watching the setting sun, and the general buzz of our neighborhood was so soothing to my melancholy heart. Sometimes I just crave those quiet moments whispering prayers and being thankful. It's good for the soul.

Days and moments, friends. That's what we have. Enjoy yours.
Blessings until next time. :)

'Twas the weekend before Florida.

In just 2 days we are flying down to sunny Florida! We are all feeling that buzz of excitment, and to be real, I'm feeling the drain of trying to get every-single-little-thing done before we go. My hubby is slammed with seminary homework and is preaching Sunday morning, and I've had more laundry to do this week then any other time I can remember. But we keep reminding each other... "Florida". Keep pushing through.

Tonight I had a few minutes to hop on here and give a quick life update. We are all doing fine, I should let you know. I just genuinely cannot figure out how or when to do more updates and posts yet. I'm also lacking a computer (unless my hubby is home with his), so yea, that's where we are now.

Did you catch my last post on All Things with Purpose? We hosted a Good Friday soup dinner here in our home and it was such a great time. Click here to catch up on that news. 
Next month I'm planning to reveal a BIG project that will start post-Florida - a plate wall in the newly (to be) painted dining room! So that's exciting.

The biggest girl is losing teeth and growing up and making me feel old. She finishes kindergarten in one month. One month. Don't even ask me where this year has gone! We have really enjoyed watching her mature and grow in her knowledge. She LOVES to read now, is learning all kinds of new fun facts and came home today telling me she was going to go make a "Venn diagram". Don't worry, I wasn't sure what that was at first either. This whole first year of school thing ended up going so well and SO much better then I had pictured up in my mind. Knowing how much she loves to learn I think I have my summer challenge cut out for me. Sitting around and playing still happens, but this girl likes to keep her hands busy. I love her.

My two littles have two goals every day: 1) Be as cute and cuddly adorable as possible and 2) Destroy every clean surface in the home the moment I walk out of a room.
I.can't.even.

So it's toys and sticker books and puzzles and games and books and dollies and blankets and teething toys and any other random thing... all day long. I love them. I love this life. Sometimes I don't even notice all the mess, but then other times it's enough to push me over the edge. August will be FOUR next month and loves to tell me this fact over and over. Break my heart! Jane, as you can see, is pulling her self up and into absolutely everything. It's a new world having three mobile children. I love it. And, can you even handle those baby thighs!??!? {sqeeeeeee}

As for me. Well, you know...
Even though life is busy and we are enjoying ministry and our children and our marriage, I still so often feel like I'm "blah". Baby weight to lose but no motivation to do so. House to organize and keep clean with no motivation to do so. I had hopes of having a small garden planted by now - but that's still on my list. Blah. Just blah. I cannot say I'm bored, but I will say I just feel blah. There are a zillion different thoughts in my brain all the time, I tire easily, I want to exercise and eat healthier but I'm pretty sure I'm addicted to sugar. Ha! And yes I see the cycle thank-you-very-much. Even my reading time and study of the Word feels a little...tired. And that's never the Word of God's fault, it lies with me. I'm thinking we just all need a break, good thing it's coming soon!

This week I had my hair done. But not just a cut - like a full on salon experience. I think I've been to a real professional salon twice since I've gotten married. It was awesome and I drank up every minute. When I walked in they gave me fruit infused water to sip while I waited. Before my cut I was given a stress relief neck and upper back massage with warm oil {seriously}, then taken to the paraffin dip for my hands. Now, I'm usually pretty satisfied with just that feeling of having my hair washed for me... can I ever go back to life without massages and paraffin? :) My stylist was sweet and chatty and it was wonderful to sit in that chair and get beautified for an hour. I'm not kidding about the hour - I had a lions mane full of hair that needed some major TLC. Now I'm enjoying a long bob and it's great! Isn't it a beautiful feeling to just feel pretty on the outside now and again? After this third baby I've been having some image issues - sometimes a hair cut helps. Simple as that.

So now it's Friday night. I have a little more laundry to do and there are some dishes in the sink - but, I'm thinking a night on the couch with a warm blanket, some cocoa and Netflix sounds WAY better.
Florida and 91 degree days are heading my way. Push through!

Mixing everything at once.

I feel like a human blender today. I'm working on being very pregnant (37 weeks!) while finishing up the nursery and misc other 100 jobs I can think of to be "ready" for baby and family to follow. Note: Why DO we put so much pressure on ourselves to make things "perfect" for the mom that's coming to HELP us?! :) Rant over...continue.
I'm also working full steam on my baby girls THIRD birthday party to be held this Saturday after a busy afternoon of high school graduation open houses. Whew. I'm tired and it's only Wednesday. Tack on the everyday chores, raising two bouncy girls, ministry responsibilities and preparing somewhat decent meals... it's just a big mix of life. And it's all good.

This weekend my husband was THE MAN. He spent most of his day off on Friday helping me clean the house and really did mostly everything himself as I can't seem to peel myself off of the couch. :) So thankful for him. We binned up and moved about a million bins of girls clothes down to the basement - and I feel a little more organized. We purchased bunk beds online, as well as a few other needed items for the new babe. And then he made Mothers Day so special complete with gifts and a wonderful lunch at my fave place - PF Chengs. :) Yum! I napped all afternoon and that night went out with some girl friends for a ladies night. It was heavenly. These little ladies are what make me a mommy and I love them to pieces! Even though they make ridiculous faces.

As I mentioned, my baby turn 3 on Saturday. I'm struggling with that just a little bit because all I can see is this pic of her fresh face the day after she was born.

So, time seems to have once again slipped on and my newborn is turning 3. (sniff) I know my arms will soon be filled with newborn-ness, but each child is so precious and special. I always kinda mourn the growing up part. 

I'm planning a special Fairy themed birthday party for her this weekend I can't wait to make it happen! Really praying for enough energy and that the day goes so well. Hopefully I'll get some pics up of the actual day, but here's a peek at just a few of things I'm planning for my special fairy-obsessed-little girl :) 

Fairy houses: we'll be decorating our own.Walmart had tiny houses for .97! Auggie calls them "Stuck houses" because Tink got stuck in one in one of the fairy movies :) I love it! We have all sorts of glitter and sequins and stickers to make them lovely. :) Still debating the moss... would 3 year olds enjoy that?

And, a dum dum tree. Just because its cute and easy and yummy. August thinks Dum Dums are the best candy ever. 

And then just some every day birthday party fun... 

I'm planning to fill an inflatable pool with those multicolored plastic balls - ball pit! And we'll have streamers and fairy wings, etc. Oh I so hope my girlie feels special. 

All kinds of busy going on all around us. We are in the homestretch and I'm secretly hoping that maybe this baby would want to join us in 2 weeks rather then 3. We'll see! 

High Heels

She's been asking for months. "High heels, Mommy". "I want some high heels like you". And I almost laugh because at 32 weeks pregnant I know she hasn't seen mom in the really high heels in awhile. But it doesn't matter - mom's and high heels, sometimes they just go together in a little girls brain. So every time we go to Walmart she finds the pair of white little girls heels, tries them on, and spins in the mirror to admire her grown up self. And every time I have to bite my lower lip to keep from falling apart.

When did the calendar page flip and my baby is going on 5 1/2 and wanting to wear heels? And how do I stop this speeding train called time? And why are the days so difficult sometimes and we butt heads and argue, but then in those moments she's precious all over again? This mother/daughter relationship thing is weird and I fear I'll never understand it all. And why when I fail day after day with raised voice, short temper and sharp words does she still want to be like me with heels on?

Don't mind the mini wearing no clothes. She admires her sis and wants to be in every picture.

All I can do is throw my hands up and beg for wisdom in leading her and loving her. But the heels... that seems easy. So when we found a swap site selling a whole bag of consigned shoes in her size - and one pair were heels in a lovely neon orange color, it was a double blessing. And she wears them daily now. This girl in her orange heels, prancing through my yard with her long girl legs and braids down either side of her face. She spins and twirls and watches her feet and often reminds me (and everyone else)... "I have high heels like my mom". And my lip is bitten over and over to keep it together. I watch her and I just can't believe she's mine and we've made it this far. She's amazing in so many ways - do I really notice every day how incredible she is?

No one tells you about these moments. The strange moments where your heart feels like its ripping down the middle - 50% joy in the moment watching your child grow, 50% heartbreak as you realize how time has passed. That's where I am tonight, right in the middle, and thankful for every second. These heels and these blessings... little reminders of my Great God.

Snowy Saturday - these are the moments I don't want to forget!

In the words of my 5 year old, "This has been a perfect day". She said this at approximately 10:30am, and I couldn't have agreed more! My husband got home very early this morning, and while he is still sick and very tired - just having him home makes us all a little more happy. I think, him, included. On top of daddy's return we had fresh fallen (and still falling) snow and it was a Saturday with no where to go and little to do. Triple decker day! So yes, my Ava girl, a perfect day indeed!

Normally I would make the girls wait until afternoon to head out and enjoy the snow. I'm not keen on going out myself but that's what makes our fenced in yard all the more attractive :) So, I suited up the big girl and out she went even before 9am made it's appearance.

Little sis, who tends to be a little more indoors-y with snow like her mother, preferred to watch from the window.

But one can only handle such a fun temptation for so long... and out she went, also. :) Leaving me with a quiet dining room, camera in one hand, hot coffee in the other - drinking in the sweetness of two sisters enjoying a snowy day together. {and not fighting}

I don't want to forget these days - where its calm over chaos and I can feel the blessings in my life.

What is with this Kindergarten / growing up thing?

I've known since the day she was born that the time would come that I would have to say some sort of little "goodbye". Maybe that sounds a wee bit dramatic to some of you, but it's exactly where my heart is today and has been for some years now. Raising children is the best job in the entire world... but letting them go is just about enough to rip a mom's heart out. I should now, I feel the slow rip beginning already. 

This morning my 5 year old had her "Kindergarten physical" with her new pediatrician. It was really all I could do to keep my heart calm during that visit. First of all, she's tall. As in, well over 4 foot and showing up in the 99% for height. So she just climbs up onto the table all by herself. She answers the nurses questions by herself. I sat there feeling totally out of place. Who is this big girl and where is that newborn I had... just the other day?! It was a mean cross between moments of sheer pride in watching her grow up to this horrible ache in the pit of my gut where it took every ounce I could muster to keep it together. I may have secretly cried when the nurse left the room {briefly}. Thankfully the nurse was also pregnant and I think she understood my pink cheeks when she walked back in. 

Just this morning I read this blog post by Club 31 women, and I thought that encouragement would prepare me for our day. If you have a few minutes - check it out. "Why this pain of letting my children grow up?". It's fantastic. 

But anyway... after a great appointment and a moment of personal victory for me of not sobbing when she had to get shots done, the blessing washed over. She cried for a minute, wanted to hold my hand, and then she was fine. While I've heard horror stories of friends children going bizerk, kicking doctors, screaming at decibals unheard before - my girl shed a minute of tears and then was done. She' so so so tough. And my heart was so so proud {and sad}of how she has grown up into this little girl. It's a confusing mix for mom's - this growing up thing. We rejoice at the achievements and milestones, but it actually hurts sometimes to watch them be independant. At least it does for me. 

My husband and I have decided that in August we will send her off to kindergarten to a school just a few quick miles down the road. All day kindergarten. I try not to think about it too much really, it is several months away and there are days when it even sounds nice to have a "break", then I feel bad thinking that. Again, it's confusing. But today my heart is aching and I feel wrung out watching this girl grow up and just wondering where did the time go? Is she ready? Will she be ok? What if something happens to her? Will she have a friend? Will kids like her? Will her teacher be kind? Will she understand what she needs? Are we making the right decision? Oh my word... how in the world am I going to let my daughter go? And maybe the most nagging question... have I made these 5 years count?! 

The reminder that - she isn't really mine, is where I have to leave those questions. No amount of fussing, worrying, crying or hyperventilating is going to help me. I have to willingly and daily place my daughter in the hands of Almighty God who loves her far more then I do. I have to trust His plan for her life, His goodness in mine, His purpose. And another truth, I believe, is that she will LOVE going. That's just her personality. She is so much like me in that way. 

But do we ever see our kids as anything but our babies? Ava Edyn, I love you. 

The Mom who cries

I've had a lot of nicknames in my life.

Mang.
Mang Face.
Mangy.
Manga.
Baby Gorilla. (thanks, Mom!)
Baby Goo (thanks, dad)
Steve
Gricer (my maiden name was Grice)
Bacon (thank you high school softball team...and spanish class)
Mandolin
Mandisa (of course)
Mandiss


Up til now, in the 31 years I've been alive I have never been called "the mom who cries", but I'm convinced it's coming. We had a first in the Pausley family last night and I am admitting to you now that I could just barely keep it together. Ballet. Our oldest daughter has been practically begging to do ballet since she was 2 years old and we had agreed if she still held onto it until she was 4, we'd consider. She hasn't quit talking about it in two years. :)

So we drove over to the adorable little ballet studio and through the chaos of dozens of leotard-clad children... got her into her class. She was so excited, so brave. And I already felt that hot sting behind my eyes. Who is this tall, lanky, skinny little girl? Because sometimes all I see is my first born daughter laying in the Boppy pillow on that first day home.

 

I watched as her teacher took the reins and let them in "first position", some tap steps and other assorted movement. My big girl was trying and focusing - I couldn't have been more proud. 

.she's the one on the far right.

And, I just started crying when I watched her try to talk to the other girls...and she didn't get a response. Some of them just looked at her and some even ignored her. Broke my heart.  I was reminded how much I need to pray for her to find just one special friend. And I need to remind her that our world is lost and needs Jesus - not to be disappointed when we don't make friends quickly. Be friendly to makes friends.

 

Ah, the momma heart. Bittersweet moments when you are SO proud of your little one for accomplishing something and growing up another year... but hurting at the same time, when you realize 5 years has almost come and gone and the clock isn't slowing down. Her arms are thinning down and the chubby baby wrists are vanishing. Be still my heart. The chubby cheeks are firming up into a beautiful, delicate big girl face.

So we've entered this stage of leotards, pink ballet slippers, tap shoes, buns, twirling and Swan Lake. 

And all the parents crammed into that teeny, tiny, waiting room have now dubbed me, "the mom who cries" as I stood in the tiny corner watching in through the window with my camera, tears in my eyes and that quivering bottom lip. But you know what, she's worth it. I cannot believe she's mine and I couldn't be more proud of how brave and strong she is.   

Little sis was not fond of this big sis having fun without her stuff. :)

The last week on 1st Street

Tomorrow morning we will load up close to 30 teens and drive to camp in northern Michigan. That makes today our LAST day in this house. When we get home next Saturday night {late} we'll get our last night of sleep and then move out the next day. Crazy. My heart remains heavy about much of the detail of closing, etc. but ultimately we are eager to see what the Lord will do. We've already seen His goodness to us in so many little ways even this week.

For example, the sweet corn truck gave us 2 extra ears FREE yesterday. If you know what a big deal Iowa sweet corn is... that was HUGE for us. :)

1st Street was our first home and while we are excited to start a new adventure - my nostalgic heart has been a little sad a few times this week as we pack up the last of it. This is where our children learned to walk, where we led our first few youth bible studies of this ministry, where I was SO sick and the Lord restored me. Many, many memories.

This old house. It's been a blessing and a big chapter of our lives. 

Blessed be the name of the Lord! 

Creation Therapy

I am sure that in a few years I will look back on these days and see just exactly why we needed to endure such difficulties. Just to update a bit - we are in the process of selling our home and buying a new one closer to the area our church is in. Everything has been going pretty smoothly. We sold our home after the first showing {in 4 weeks!}, inspection came back with minimal work to be done, etc. Our reality now is that one little "bad" appraisal can just mess up what we think is "perfect" and turn it upside down. That's where we are. The stress has been high. We are now waiting on the Lord to really direct and work things out for us - as it's beyond us and anything we could muster up. But, wasn't it this way even from the beginning?

Being a fairly emotional female, I have been having a tough time keeping these stress emotions under control. I long to be a woman of faith - to rest and trust that the Lords perfect plan will sustain me. But sometimes, in my weak moments... I just cry. I feel like crying all the time lately. Life is hard and being a grown up is just not as fun as I thought it would be, sometimes. I'm working on saturating myself in the truth of God's word and in the encouraging reminders from godly writers who can explain it so well. We must, I must, saturate ourselves in TRUTH. The enemy would love nothing more then for me to fret and fear my days away...doubting mighty God and His purpose in this. I won't sit by and let that happen. So, I'm fighting friends.

When my husband got home from work lastnight He had even more "upsetting" news about our move/sale/etc. Once again I felt the hot tears prick at my eyes and honestly I just feel like a bug being squished beneath a big boot. Pressure. You know what I'm talking about? That feeling like you just won't ever be out from something? Yet, my problems are so minimal, really.

After dinner we loaded up our children and drove across the busy main street to an empty parking lot. My husband had been raving about a "new trail" he found, and despite the 96 degree temps and humidity... we went. We live in the city, really just 2 minutes from the downtown buisness area... so finding some good creation is tricky. This parking lot reminded me of a murder scene, honestly - big, empty, old semi truck trailers that had been abandoned for years. A few homeless men fishing on the river runoff area... I felt a bit out of place.

We crossed a little industrial bridge and started down the bike/walking trail. It was a hidden gem we had never found in our 4 years of living just a few blocks away. Blue sky, bright sun, and... trees! We walked for a bit and then entered "the forest", as our 4 year old exclaimed. The trail took us right into the lush, deep part of the woods along a river and I was disappointed to not have my camera with me. Creation was alive and around me. It was therapy to my hurting heart so I closed my eyes and just breathed it in. Without words I prayed and thanked the Lord for His presence with us - the beauty of His earth, the blessings of my children, the knowledge that we will be alright.

Look at the trees - how perfectly formed and woven the branches are. The river bank, gently lapping onto the rocks... it has an order, perfectly obeys. Breeze blows through and the orieoles and black birds caw and flit away. I wanted to sit and cry or...lay prostrate before the holy creator, God and just drink in His goodness. In a messed up world where house sales don't go perfectly and momma's get overwhelmed and we forget His goodness... we need those moments. So on we walked and I meditated on scripture and recited hymns of faith to myself. The girls squeeled and ran down the path and my husband pushed the stroller. My eyes welled up as we kept walking and with each step I was able to think of what I was thankful for, all that the Lord has done to bring us this far in life. Creation therapy.

Today is a new day where I have to muster up the strength and courage to live by faith. So thankful my heavenly Father never runs out of supply in that regard. I can see Him working in my life and allowing me this chance to live with Him. Life is hard, no doubt, but it's also so sweet and such a gift.

Cardboard boxes & Chaos

Oh I knew these days were coming. We've known a little too long, I think. Maybe that's where the procrastination set in... on one of those days where I sighed and went along in my day thinking, "oh, we still have a month to pack". I still have plenty of time but if I didn't feel like the walls were coming down around me THEN - I'm starting to NOW. 

The decorations on the first floor have all been taken off of the walls. It's bare and weird in here. Or, as my dear husband likes to note, "it looks cleaner". Nice. I've boxed up the books and a lot of the toys that were not being played with. Linens have been packed up with extra blankets and towels. Day by day this ol' house is looking more and more unfamiliar. I'm not as sad as I thought I'd be - but, I know tears will still come on the actual moving day. I'm just sentimental like that. 

My girls think this time is like a 2nd Christmas day - as they try to unpack the boxes I've so carefully organized and layed out. They particularly enjoying finding old toys made new again by being lost for so long. This is the chaos. I need them to be busy so I can pack, but their choice activity is doing the opposite of what I'm trying to accomplish. Ah, such is life. The Journey. 

This week for the FIRST TIME EVER my girls have started actually playing together in pretend. "C'mon sissy, let's go play house" has been said several times. My heart smiles when I hear that. I love how excited they get to pretend and it takes me back to days when I did the same exact thing. Have I mentioned lately how much I adore these girls?! Little sister is starting to hold her own ground and have opinions and big sister is taking the hint - it's hilarious. Two little personalities. 

Well, that's it for today. The mound of emtpy cardboard boxes is calling my name... Happy Friday, friends. 

"Haul out the Holly....."

 

Go on, sing it. December 1st and the Christmas season is fully upon us :) I feel like I've been waiting since July for this time to come. Tonight I'll head to our local church for the ladies Christmas event - Rejoice! I spent a good part of the day yesterday setting up and decorating some tables, and will share some pics after I take some tonight. :) I look forward to this event every year - such a blessing to be a part of a church that teaches the gospel and guides us to keep our minds on track during this time of year. Which, brings me to my main point...

Keeping it simple. 

My home decor this year is low key and lovely {at least to me}. I did a lot of greenery, mini trees, etc. Things I already own.
Our gifting will be simple and to the point. Nothing excessive. Thinking of doing the "four gift rule" idea for my children.

I'm doing a lot of home made and kid created gifts and baked goods. Which I know Grandpa's and Grandma's will love better anyway!

Buying groceries to eat at home and planning to eat at home instead of resorting to overspending in a pinch when we are out and about. {minus last night's impromptu visit to Ted's Coney Island}

Last night we took our girls to the Capital downtown to watch the tree lighting ceremony. We had never gone and weren't sure what to expect. Let me encourage you to really seek out these kinds of opportunities. Not only was this FREE, but there was a local high school choir singing carols, FREE hot cocoa and Christmas cookies, and the Governor was there! Hubs shook his hand! The huge tree being lit was the icing on the cake for me. :) A special memory and something hubs and I both agreed would become a new family tradition for us. I enjoyed the light crowd, too. It started at 5:30 so not many were there - but, it was already dark so the tree lights were lovely.

While my husband would have preferred a more decorative tree, microphones for the singers, etc. I really enjoyed the simplicity of the evening. It seems the older I get the more I enjoy the simple things in life. Small treasures. Memories of performing Christmas carols with my high school choir, a warm pre-winter night outside, watching my children think we were doing the coolest thing ever, mini cups of hot cocoa, other families with young children taking this same opportunity and soaking it in.

The Lord is so good to give me those moments of calm and joy. My heart, as I shared recently, has been so weighed down with chaos all around me. I'm reassured again and again at the beauty found in simplicity. Today we ring in December 1 and remember who we celebrate this month.

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God; And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, full of grace and truth; we have beheld his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father.” John 1:1-2, 14