Saturday, October 15, 2011

Someday when I'm old

Someday when I'm old I'll sit on the couch and read a good book

... all the way through.

I will take leisurely walks on beautiful fall days,

enjoying the sounds and smells of the new season.

Someday I'll sleep in until 8am - then have big, fancy, breakfasts, and drink my coffee

while it's still hot.

When I'm old my house will always be clean and tidy. No scraps of toilet paper on the bathroom floor, no crumb littered couches or toy infested porches.

Someday I'll sit in silence. For long periods of time.
I'll have no one to care for and nothing to do but sit.

Thanking God that today is not that day.

I've had a rough week - the kind that every mother has every now and again. Children were unruly (does anyone still even say that word?!), naptimes were interrupted or non-existent, grocery shopping didn't get done so meals were...interesting. House work just never seemed to be wrapped up, not even the "Smaller" chores. Tensions high and patience low. Humanity showing through BIG TIME. And while I sound like a crazy lady... I'm thankful for those weeks. I don't wish for them and I can certainly wait a long time until we have another, but, I needed the reminder this week of just how very fully I need to be relying and leaning on the Lord. I can't do this wifely/motherly life on my own - and, when I try it's a big hot mess of ugly. {ask my hubby}

Several nights after the children were in bed or down for naps I just had a few minutes to sit and cry. Cry because of my frustrations, but, also because I realize how quickly these days WILL pass and someday I won't have these "treasures" in my home anymore. Life will be boring. And though I'm exhausted and tested and weak - I can think of no better way to be exhausted. I have failed many, many times this week. I'm thankful for Grace. I've been short and sharp with my biggest girl - and that breaks my heart. Breaks my will. I'm forgiven, and thankful.

Even during a difficult week we still manage to have our fun around here. It's a fun time in life with Ava turning 3 soon and Auggie really turning into a Baby that moves and does things :) We are all giddy about setting up holiday plans - including a trip to OHIO next month and then seeing all our siblings and cousins on Pausley side in December. Ava asks everyday if it's Thanksgiving yet. :) I love that she's grasping the joy that can be found in these special days. {mommy's fave days!} Lastnight we were just hanging out as a fam. Nothing to do and nowhere to be - playing with Hubs Mac. He turned the camera feature on and we had so much fun laughing, giggling and taking funny pictures. A memory I will never forget. Friday night on the couch with my babies and husband. It's burned onto my mommy-brain-hard drive. :) {Sniff, sniff}

August started solids this month. We've gone through rice cereal and carrots and this week we are working on sweet potatoes and oatmeal cereal. I know "they" say only do one food at a time but... we like to live on the edge around here. :) She's doing pretty good with eating - just has a little of that tongue thrust going on, so she ends up wearing most of it. It's adorable. She loves carrots and seems to do better with those. I can't wait to get back into making baby food again. I love it!

Miss August is now also a professional roller-over. The second I put her down she's flopped onto her belly. It's hilarious and opens up a whole new world for her. She's really into grabbing things, too, so toys are more fun these days. And she isn't grabbing for toys alone - but, mommy's coffee and food, bibles, and most importantly -her toes.

I love my chunky, happy, beautiful Auggie Hope :) She melts my heart and makes me smile.
My Ava girl is just 2 months away from turning 3 years old. I CANNOT believe that. She's amazing. Everyone keeps saying to me how smart she is, and funny, and animated. I just nod. It's so true! She keeps me hopping here at home, too. If it's not a detailed conversation about why baby Jesus doesn't wear a diaper and "look Mommy he has a butt", then it's explaining to me "actually" this or "Oh, you're right" about that. She is very opinionated and seriously emotional - we are working on the right way of training her and teaching her how to use her strong will for the Lord. Convicts me EVERY day. She loves to go-go-go and always wants to be out and about. Loves the city life - just like her daddy. I can't keep clothes (that fit) on her long enough. She, at almost 3, is in mostly 4t items. Jeans are too short otherwise. Her feet seem to be growing by the day, too. We know God will provide for our Ava... He always does. We have been so grateful for cousins and friends who give us their "big girl" clothes. :) And I love finding my deals here and there are cute things, too! So thankful for this beautiful girl and how much love she has for such an imperfect momma!

Life is a gift. Life is Grace. We can't forget that. Every moment is a chance to start over - when caught up in the GRUMPS of life. Thank you Lord for my family and the blessing they are to me. I can wait to be old.


Justine said...

Love it. Encouraged me, for I sure do have those days/weeks.:)

Justine said...

Love it. Encouraged me, for I sure do have those days/weeks.:)

becky said...

beautiful post. I can wait for the day that I will drink warm coffee too...they are so worth it. Thanks for sharing your heart!