Monday, January 21, 2008

Evil addiction... ?

"To get to the bottom of this puzzle, a team led by Dr. De-Kun Li, a researcher at Kaiser Permanente in Oakland, Calif., conducted one of the first studies to take into account morning sickness. They concluded that a daily habit of drinking 200 milligrams of caffeine — the amount typically found in just two cups of coffee — significantly increases the risk of miscarriage."

These are the words I heard on the news this morning... and I almost threw up right there on my living room floor. In my heart I know that trying to figure out a "why" is not only unrealisitic, but just me trying to once again control my circumstances. I'm an avid multi-cup drinker of the blessed coffee bean, many days I've been known to skip breakfast and fill up on that extra mug...and have been known to enjoy the "jitters". When I found out I was pregnant, I cut back to one cup a day - and didn't even drink it every day. But now I'm wondering... as I'm sure everyone in my situation would do... just wondering... did I cause this? I know I can't think like that, but you can understand why it would be in the back of my mind.

Oh Lord, once again, just as I think I'm climbing back up the mountain... I begin to tumble back down in the wrong direction. Today I'm asking for that "Peace that passes all understanding", please remind me that in this life it's YOUR plans that matter, not my ideals or imaginations.

1 comment:

Laura Siegrist said...

oh mandi! no no no no...you did NOT cause it! i know that it is hard to not to think that, i would too i'm sure (i too am a coffee drinker). i read an article in the paper about that study and honestly, was not convinced about what they said. when i became pregnant,i did my own research, reading as much as i could about countless different studies done. what i concluded from all of the sources i could find, was that anything over 800 mg a day was dangerous (like 8 cups of coffee a day or something like that). the article from this week mentioned that they were not able to prove it was strictly caffiene that increased the risk, since they didn't include other factors in the study. so, don't let 1 study scare you. i encourage you to do your own research to ease your mind. i was able to drink 1-3 cups a day and not worry. of course, everyone is different, and i'm not saying you shouldn't worry if you have 3 cups, but i'm also saying, it's ok. you did not do this and research alone isn't infallible.