"To get to the bottom of this puzzle, a team led by Dr. De-Kun Li, a researcher at Kaiser Permanente in Oakland, Calif., conducted one of the first studies to take into account morning sickness. They concluded that a daily habit of drinking 200 milligrams of caffeine — the amount typically found in just two cups of coffee — significantly increases the risk of miscarriage."
These are the words I heard on the news this morning... and I almost threw up right there on my living room floor. In my heart I know that trying to figure out a "why" is not only unrealisitic, but just me trying to once again control my circumstances. I'm an avid multi-cup drinker of the blessed coffee bean, many days I've been known to skip breakfast and fill up on that extra mug...and have been known to enjoy the "jitters". When I found out I was pregnant, I cut back to one cup a day - and didn't even drink it every day. But now I'm wondering... as I'm sure everyone in my situation would do... just wondering... did I cause this? I know I can't think like that, but you can understand why it would be in the back of my mind.
Oh Lord, once again, just as I think I'm climbing back up the mountain... I begin to tumble back down in the wrong direction. Today I'm asking for that "Peace that passes all understanding", please remind me that in this life it's YOUR plans that matter, not my ideals or imaginations.