Thursday, November 3, 2011

the one where I gush about my children

I love them.

Ava and August. They are my heartbeat. They are my full time job. They bring me joy. Yes, we have our days where it isn't all rainbows and sunshine - but, over all I'm so blessed.

Lastnight we got home late from church. August had fallen asleep in the van while we were waiting for daddy to lock up. So by the time we got home it was at least a good hour nap in the van. Most of you mommas know how those "cat" naps kill bedtime. It was no exception here. While Brad got Ava ready for bed I tackled the littlest - getting jammies on, swaddling, then to lay her down. She closed her eyes right away like she always does. I back out quietly and think, "wow, that went better then I thought." 20 minutes later the red lights on the monitor go off. I readjust, reswaddle. Another 10 minutes go by, red lights again. No worries...its not like I was trying to cuddle with my hubby on the couch and watch that interesting Steve Jobs bio. I repeat this three times. The fourth time I scoop her up, give a good tight swaddle, offer her night bottle early - and we rock. She finishes her bottle and I just hold her. She's dozed off - and has steady breathing. She's completely content and at home in the crook of my arm. As her little brain dreams she cracks smiles and grins as her eyes stay closed. It's beautiful. I rock her a little while longer until she is good and out, kiss her baby lips - and then lay her gently into her crib. She sighs.

What an amazing blessing to hold my babies. To watch them sleep and kiss chubby cheeks. It wipes away all of the difficult days.

Yesterday Ava was acting a little "pesty". From time to time we see this in her - she just walks around looking for trouble. Because the little guy I babysit doesn't seem to notice or mind, I become the ultimate target. She'll follow me around just whining, being grumpy or just plain naughty. For example - I'll be making lunch on the stove and she pull a chair up to the counter to "watch", only, grabs everything and intentional moves and throws stuff because she's grumpy. Several times I asked her to find something to do, something to make, a book to read, etc. At one point she looks at me and says, "mommy, I just want to be near you." Ahhh, just shoot me through the heart, right? If it's not that statement then its, "Mommy, can you please play with me?" while all of her strawberry shortcake toys spread out in front of her. Honestly, a LARGE part of my selfish heart says, "you have tons to do, and she does know how to play solo" but another part screams, "do you honestly think she is going to ask you that forever?!". Children really do just want our time. As Ava grows and changes - I'm finding more and more how much she craves one-on-one time with me, and how different her behavior is when that time and Grace is freely given. WHEN WILL I LEARN?

I'm so thankful for babies to rock, preschoolers to play dolls with, girls to dress up and love on all day. So blessed by my little ladies.

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