Relationships

As I continue on in this "new" life here in IA I've been able to meet so many really cool people. I know that's a horribly lame description, but, it's true. I've met teachers, mothers, doctors, tax guys, nurses and nobodys. I feel blessed to be here, serving God and the teens of SBC. But something that seems to be taking longer then I anticipated was the making of deep, personal friendships. And, I've always battled through that awkward "making friends" stage in every phase of my life. I used to blame the fact that I never had sisters so I had trouble relating to other girls. But, then I have friends who come from families just like mine who have handfuls of close friends. I dunno. I thought living in an all girls dorm would help this "issue" of mine... but, even then it was "interesting" to say the very least. Who knew girls could be so...catty?! Even having roomates after college I still found myself really struggling to make good close girlfriends. What IS my deal? But, I know I'm not alone in this. And I am striving to learn how. Sometimes its a hollow feeling inside. I'm hours from my "old friends". And yes, sure, we could call each other - but, I hate talking on the phone and who doesn't?! I miss the familiarity of what was... I miss the comfort of being able to chat with people who really knew me. I miss my family, especially my sis-in-laws, even though one lives in FL and I don't see her that often...

But, I can rejoice! God has us here for a very awesome reason - and friends will come. I know things aren't always in my timing, or ever really, and that's ok. The thought keeps coming to mind over and over, "in order to have friends you have to be a friend" - and, I'm trying. I'm looking and praying for God to show me people and bring people into my life. And, He will, and if not - I can learn to be content with that. I wonder how Jesus must have felt? While he wasn't an emotional female - I wonder what his times of loneliness felt like? The creator of all feeling alone. It doesn't seem right - but we know from scripture that he battled every human temptation and feeling just as we do now.

So, if you live here and see me and I'm over the top "trying"... you'll know why. I'm convinced that relationships are vital and I so desire them. I'm also a work in progress and still trying to figure myself out, awkwardness and all.