He knows me. He knows ME.

Our beautiful downtown

So I'm reading through this book, "Glimpses of Grace" by Gloria Furman and I know, I know, I keep mentioning it. But, I'm doing it again. This book is making a HUGE impact on me - through Gloria's writing and the truth of God's word that she weaves in... it's beautiful, convicting, and ultimately challenging me in new ways.

While it's not news that I have been battling and waging a real war of faith right now - I guess I never realized how important these moments can be. Like, for real, it is a real all out fight some days to sit back and have Faith in a God that I cannot see with my human eyes. Oh, I believe in God and I can see so clearly how He has worked and continues to work in my life. I feel the Holy Spirit working on me and through me - it's not a question of that. My war is more one of having faith in the promises of God vs. trying to do things myself all.the.time. That moving-mountains-kinda-faith thing. Ah, I want that. But every few days I find myself once again humbled before the Lord in tears asking forgiveness for my doubt and worry and fear - as if I trembling over bank account numbers and logistics is the end of the world. Seriously, I'm annoyed with myself. Then on a spiritual note - I just ache over feeling like "why can't I get this together?!"... mope, mope, mope. Pray more. Mope. Lord, WHY can't I trust?!  So, what a timely and encouraging reminder to come across this paragraph this weekend in my reading.

"Feeling futile over our inability to trust God when we're anxious should not be a source of despair. This is an occasion to worship! How great is God, who is so desirable and worthy of our worship that our hearts must feel empty when we know we're not full of his Joy! How merciful is Jesus, who gave us His righteousness and bears away our sin! If you have any sorrow, if you experience any reluctance over your hardness of heart, do not be discouraged. You would not feel that way if the Spirit of God were not at work in your life. If you were left to your own devices, then there would be no need to feel like kicking yourself because you know you're missing out on seeing 

and savoring God."

He knows me. He knows ME. My heart and it's wanderings don't surprise Him or annoy Him. He prompts me to worship Him because of my failures, give thanks for His mercy, and savor Him.
And I'll tell ya - that paragraph brought liberty to my very soul at the exact moment it was needed. I won't despair when my anxiety seems to rise and I'm done being disappointed with myself... because that's exactly the whole issue - eyes on self, rather then eyes on Christ. Must look up. :)

I'm a work in progress and I just shout out THANK YOU LORD for working on me. So, that's where I am today. It's a good place - not easy, but good. And you know - I think this whole day was just a gift to me anyway. The blue in the sky and an amazing sun was like a big ol' hug from my God. I see Him in those things. Beauty. A morning outside with my girls was just the ticket!

And...He knew I needed these two goobers, too. :)

Let's do this.

 

Sitting here right now, at the end of another busy and full day of family and fun... I'm feeling oddly motivated. I have a kitchen and front room full of empty cardboard boxes, reminding me that July 18th is very near to us. Maybe that's why. Or, it could be the toys tossed here and there throughout our home. How many kids do we have!?  All the same, let's hope this motivation sticks around for the rest of the week. Let's do this moving thing.

The Lord has answered some very specific prayers in the last few days - which, I'll love to share all the details with you come Fall, once the rest of the story takes place. How's that for a teaser? {grin} But in short, we have found a place to live for FREE during our transition time before our new house is ready.  So many little things are falling into place and we so clearly see the Lord caring for us. Praise God! 

I'm having a fun time looking up new ideas for our new home on the ol' Pinterest site. Hubs and I agree we want to get in there and make it HOME right away. Considering we'll get in either late August or early September and already be FULL SWING back into youth ministry... it's even more good motivation. We cannot wait to open those doors up to our teens and people in our church! 

So, the ideas. Ah, it's fun. Here's a few I've dug up in the last few weeks. 

This first one is NOT the most exciting, admittedly. But for a lady who has NEVER had a coat closet at the entrance of their home - I'm going crazy excited over it! All things organized :) Just love the double level of bars in here, and the big ol' pot for umbrellas. 

 

And staying on the practical theme - this fridge organization will be happening, pronto. Dollar store frames with magnets on them. Genius. How nice 'n neat is that?

 

In the new place we'll have an actual mudroom/hallway/transition space coming in from the garage and back yard - I have all kinds of dreams for that space. Including the use of my HUGE pallet that still sits in the garage...2 years later. Geesh. Scratch the rainbow colors, but, the idea for coat hanging is pretty great.

 

And, while you are in there... how about...rolling crates. You know. To catch those outside toys, shoes, random toys straying from their homes, random things found in the van. I love this idea! 

Have I mentioned the deck outside? Huge. We so look forward to entertaining out there and watching our kiddos love a real yard. I'm seriously digging this idea for the outside area -

Anyone have any old barrels they want to get rid of? 

It's fun to dream and imagine. Now, keep praying us through. We have lots and lots to get done and a few more steps in this whole selling and buying process before we can even think about attempting the fun ideas. 

But I'll tell you one thing - we are learning daily what real trust and faith in the Lord looks like. Minute by minute. And, maybe I'll share more about that in the future, too. 

Have a wonderful week. 

Cousin Love

We had a special treat this weekend of getting to visit with cousins, aunts, uncles and even some time with Great Grandpa & Grandma.  Some highlights from our breakfast this morning...

Ah, these kiddos. :)

 And some time with their new umbrella and winter hat. Thanks Aunt Shan!

Auggie and Great Grandpa

A big ol' bunch of family! What a blessing.

Here on 1st Street

I've been waiting to blog for a few days now. My heart and mind have been straying, and I have found myself beyond disappointed in my lack of faith. I know there is grace and that through trials our faith is grown - and I can tell you that the Lord has dealt with me so tenderly, and has proven again to be faithful even in the midst of my faithlessness. But... still been feeling disappointed. I want to be a woman of GREAT faith - an example to my children and encouragement to my husband. Honestly, in the last few days I've been anything but that. I've been so thankful for scripture and constant truth that is being spoken to me through it, as well as the love from my family and friends. I'm blessed to have them in my life.

This week has been better. And I'm learning and growing and thankful for it all. Here on 1st street, we've been busy. Rather then bore you with endless words - I'd like to give you a peek of our life lately through pictures. :)

Our incredible staff during VBS. Including my hunky man on the bottom left. :) 

VBS - my big girl listening to her teacher. 

FREE lunch at the local splash park! So thankful for this program! 

Add to this fun - the SALE of our home, a visit from Grammy and Great Grandma P, and playgroups. We've kept busy. 

Every bit of 2. :)

At times in the last 2 weeks...we wondered if the sun would ever shine. 

We are excited that summer is here! Keeping busy here on 1st street...for a few more weeks. :)

Just rest, sister

"When you just can't see how you can go on, or you notice that you have become obsessed or overwhelmed by your circumstances, cling to Jesus."  -Gloria Furman

It's like these very words were written down just for me today. As I continue to battle my flesh and mind - a very real war might I add - over the temptation to worry and fret. What you don't know is that we went to look at a house yesterday. A lovely, spacious, more then we even thought possible, house. Of course I loved the fenced in back yard completed by a swing set, landscaped everything, and amazing deck. Not to mention the finished space in the basement, extra living room {with fireplace!}, and that it's a whopping 2 mins from my husbands work. {grin} It's in exactly the right location and meets every single one of the things on our wish list - well, minus the fact it only has 1 tub.

The problem is always paying for things. Ha! Can I get an amen on that? I guess somedays I just feel so blindsided by reality - who knew things were so expensive?! So, while I believe with my whole entire heart that the Lord has His hand not only in the situation but OVER it... this little feeble and frail heart just wants to sit on the ground and cry like a baby with worry. And the thing is...it's JUST money. I found myself obsessing over details and dollar signs and making everything line up just exactly so - in the meantime trying to keep my mind in tune to the fact that Christ rules and reigns and there is NO pressure when I rest in that. Lastnight as we climbed into bed after another long day of ministry and life - my eyes would not close, literally. While my body was exhaused, I couldn't shut down the ol' brain. My husband took my hand and we prayed short and simple prayers - for direction, for peace, for timing. And best of all... that if this was NOT what He had for us, that it would be made known. 3 hours later, after tossing and turning and plotting in the dark - I fell asleep.

It's a new day and the temptation to freak out is present. Even now I'm on the verge of being on the edge. So I cling to Jesus and the promise that He's in control and He knows my lack of understanding in all things - including having faith. I'm fighting hard and reminding myself to do what I need to and then, rest. Whatever your circumstances are today - I pray that you can rest, too. And cling to Jesus who knows our hearts.

Happy Homemaker Monday

We are in VBS mode around here this week - as we started up last night for this 5 day event. Busy! The kids are having a blast and I think the cool weather may be a blessing in disguise as we pack 180+ students into the church! I'm working in the infant nursery this week and always enjoy cuddling and loving on the littlest ones. :) BIG NEWS for us is... we sold our home! Our closing date is July 24th. Crazy. Right now we don't know what's next - but, we trust in the Lord and His direction for our lives. What a great hope. Happy Monday to you and yours. 

The weather....

Um, I'm freezing. It's mid 60's, breezy, but SUNNY! Summer clothes have been unpacked {it is June afterall} and there is no going back. Will just throw on some socks and a cardigan :) 

Right now I am....

Avoiding cleaning my kitchen. :) 

 
Thinking....

My friend Emily had a really great and honest blog post this morning about house size and hospitality. I so often get trapped into the same types of thinking... Check that post out here. 

On my reading pile....
"Glimpses of Grace" by Gloria Furman
Book of Acts in the Bible.

On my TV.....

Nothing. But, David Nevue's new album, "Open Sky" is out now and I'm happily listening to that while I type here. It's wonderful and SO relaxing! Take a listen here. If you are familiar at all with Ann Voskamp's blog - she uses the another of his records for her blog background music. :) 

What I found while surfing the net....

 Ladies... you MUST sneak a peak over at Domestic Kingdom. Gloria Furmans blog. I am loving her book and loving her gospel centered blog. Another link for that blog - here.

On the menu for this week....

Simple, kid friendly meals this week - tonight, angel hair, chicken and broccoli. The rest of the week will be a scavenge through the fridge week :) 

On my to do list....
start packing :) 

tidy downstairs

make meal for some friends.

finish up study lesson for bible study tomorrow

In the craft basket....
almost done with my yellow, white and brown crocheted blanket! 

Looking forward to this week....    
VBS! 

My mom is coming in this weekend! 

Looking around the house.... 
I have a yummy yankee candle burning downstairs, hiding the smell of a kitchen that needs cleaning. That's allll  I'm saying. :) 

From the camera....

I cannot handle the fact that my baby is two. I love every second with her. 

On my prayer list.....  
Finding a place to rent

Saving up $ for the next house

VBS to go well, salvation for children
 Bible verse, Devotional...

So so thankful for the reminder in Acts 17 about the God we serve. 

24 “God, who made the world and everything in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands. 25 Nor is He worshiped with men’s hands, as though He needed anything, since He gives to all life, breath, and all things. 26 And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings, 27 so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; 28 for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also His offspring.’ 29 Therefore, since we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Divine Nature is like gold or silver or stone, something shaped by art and man’s devising. 30 Truly, these times of ignorance God overlooked, but now commands all men everywhere to repent, 31 because He has appointed a day on which He will judge the world in righteousness by the Man whom He has ordained. He has given assurance of this to all by raising Him from the dead.”

BIG news on this adventure.

Saturday evening we got the text letting us know that the offer that SOLD our house had come in. The number we specifically prayed about was locked in. Sold. Our house has been sold. It still doesn't seem real - especially as the dishwasher swishes, the living room is once again a sea of toys and blankets, and life is still normal. But, it's our reality. Our beautiful home on 1st street will very soon just be another memory in our book of life. And the adventures continue...

Right now we don't have a plan for the next move. We are praying about getting as close to our church and people as we can. We really do feel the importance in that - and are praying and asking the Lord for His clear direction, and we'll wait on that. There is a part of me that is SO excited to just wait and see. I kinda like this uncomfortable unknown...oh, the mystery. The realistic and planner type part of me knows we will soon need to look into a place to rent. ;) 

We have once again seen the Lord work in our lives and hearts in very real and specific ways. Join us in rejoicing! And, might I ask that you keep praying on with us?