On my last leg...

Friends, it's been a rough few days... or, maybe its weeks now - I'm losing track of time lately. On May 29th I woke up in excruciating pain, bone freezing chills and a fever. Weird. I felt like I had been hit by a truck or something. Flu like symptoms continued and I just got sicker and sicker, weaker and weaker. By about 8am I was in full blown sobs because of the pain. My husband returned from church and I made my way to a clinic that was thankfully open on Sundays - they diagnosed me with "Mastitis". While I won't get too graphic or go into much detail - I will tell you, it makes nursing nearly impossible. So I was put on an antibiotic and told it would slowly fade within 10 days. Guess what? 11 days later and I'm in worse pain, and actually, from my view things are WORSE. Horrible, horrible, throbbing pain all day and night. I can't pump anything out and little one can't nurse - so it continues.

I went back to the Dr yesterday (a new one...my OB) where they changed my drugs and said to wait three days MAX - if nothing clears, I'll need to be seen ASAP by a surgeon for possible blocked ducts or worse. So, here I sit - in just about the worst pain I've felt in awhile. And I have to constantly keep my thoughts right or that pit of pity just seems all too tempting. "Why me?", "Why now, she's such a great nurser otherwise?!", "Why after all my mothers left?", and after my quiet time this morning...
"How do I glorify God in my body and spirit with THIS?"

I will say - The people of God have been INCREDIBLE. Someone came and cleaned my house this morning, we've had meals brought every night and have several more signed up. Brad has taken days and afternoons to come home and just be with me. I'm being prayed for, hugged, sympathized with and the list goes on.

I have 2 more days until I can see anyone again. Is it possible to cry too much?!