Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Untitled - or, "the one where this momma has a rough start"

{everyone seems to love MY quilt}

There's something comforting about my raggedy, old, orange quilt. Days like today when I'm angry, emotional, sad and frustrated...


Just holding it in my lap somehow soothes. Calms. {Deep breaths}


I don't sleep well anymore - must flip 100 times a night. Restless and uncomfortable, I ache. 7am glowed blue through our bedroom window - so I rose - and had the thought to read my bible ALONE in the quiet. But Ava's radar goes off as I pee, so, skip that idea.


A twinge of grumpiness lurks... but I squelch it with the new idea of french toast sticks for breakfast.


That's when husband realizes he's run out of "undergarments" - and due to my exhaustion yesterday, the laundry sits undone in the still sewer crusted basement. :/


Another twinge... hot tears now burn my eyes, but I won't cry. Besides, I'm hungry. Ava eats. She throws an apple slice onto the floor and gets a warning. Doesn't heed the warning... breakfast ends in a spanking, tears, and a mom on edge at all of 7:45am.


The livingroom is chaos. Building blocks, ABC magnets, dolls and blankets in every spot. How many children do we have?! Unborn flips while I'm standing and the stretching pain hunches me over in half. A zillion tiny toys that each need me to bend to pick up. Angry by now. Tears leak out. This is difficult for me! I'm too tired.


Now, the washing machine spins, toys almost all put away - child reading, and I have this quilt on my lap. It's quiet now and my coffee is cold - but life is calm again. I've pulled myself together with the Lord's help. And now for that bible reading.


{journal entry from this morning - 3/29/11}



Monday, March 28, 2011

Fear, Worry and being a Mom


How appropriately timed this weekends lessons were for me. The theme of our ladies event at church was "Fear Not", all about learning how to face our fears in life and get on with it. Pair that up with where I'm at in Ann Voskamps "One Thousand Gifts" book and you'd think someone was trying to tell me something. ;)


I've never considered myself a fearful woman. I don't lay in bed at night fretting or crying myself to sleep. I'm fairly calm about lifes events, etc. Occasionally I'll have the weird dreams and wake up in a panic, but, who doesn't?! So, I wasn't really expecting to learn a TON this weekend - or from chapter 8 of Ann's book. But it would be good for review, eh? And then I read things like this...


"Worry is the facade of taking action when prayer really is."


Hmmm... guilty. And then there was this -


"Every time fear freezes and worry writhes, every time I surrender to stress, aren't I advertising the unreliability of God? That I really don't believe?"


So, I did go this weekend with an open heart asking God to work on this obviously "secretly fearful" heart o' mine. And, as always when we ask things like that - He answers. And even more then that, He gave reassurance, Hope and the reminder of His ultimate control. I'm so thankful.


I was able to pinpoint one of my big fears this weekend, too. It's the fear of my baby {babies} growing up and away from me. I'm in love with this stage of life and all too often the thought crosses my mind prematurely that, "they'll leave me". I cannot imagine life without a lap full of blond hair toddler in it, or cheerios on my kitchen floor and finger smudges against the windows. I go into panic mode (kinda) when she bumps up into the next clothing size or learns a new word. All good things - but in my brain, another "thing" closer to her growing up. It scares me. The world is too harsh and scary for her. For me to watch her in.


In chapter 8 of this book Ann has a few pages of her interaction holding her youngest babe after a late night dinner. Her daughter, the baby, had fallen asleep in her arms and she was savoring it. I cried and made a complete mess of my book reading over the pages. I felt like she was talking about me, to me. And this last part caught my breath away -


"Love's a deep wound and what is a mother without a child and why can't I hold on to now forever and her here and me here and why does time snatch away a heart I don't think mine can beat without? Why do we all have to grow old? Why do we have to keep saying good-bye?"


And that's my fear - plain and simple. It's somehow wrapped up in my identity as "Mommy" and the idea that life would have to go on without her...someday.


So, now I know where my work lies and what part of my heart still needs surrendered. And it's Monday. Let it begin.

Friday, March 25, 2011

It's a "Faith Lift" kinda thing

For months now my super creative decorations committee has been buying materials, sewing, hot glue-gunning, spray painting, cupcake liner crunching, measuring and just all around crafting. We made the decorations for our 2011 Faith Lift ladies event - which, begins tonight. :) I tried to take some pictures... but, apparently my camera really is as bad as I feel like it is. But here's what we made:

Table design #1: Black napkin with fun pink sparkly paper. We made the "flower balls", decorated the votives and voila!


Table design #2: We bought fabric and made the table runners, bought glass vases from assorted Goodwills/Salvations army's, etc. and spray painted them black. Later we added beautiful pink tulips to a few of the vases. {more pics to come later}

Hopefully tonight at the event I'll be able to nab a few "better" pics! The ladies worked so hard and I'm so thankful for a creative group who worked together so well. Maybe it's true that 4 brains are better than 1?! :)


Oh, and I almost forgot...
This is the coffee station! We did this by stapling wrapping paper to a divider wall, hanging up some black fabric that we hemmed and sewed up, wrapped some pink ribbon around it, etc. :) It looks so fantastic! Way to go team!

My 1st experience being on a church committee! It was fun, I learned a lot... and now I'm ready for a nap. :)

Thursday, March 24, 2011

I love my full time job!

The past few weeks things have been so busy around these parts. We've had company, I'm prepping for a ladies event at church, bible studies have been wrapping up and new ones beginning. Life is just FULL, very full! And there are no complaints, really, other then the fact that I'm very tired. But, I'm learning that a very tired body means lots of good things were accomplished. :)

I've been thinking about my job here at home. One title that encompasses so many parts - Homemaker. I'm the homemaker. I clean, organize, shop for food, raise a daughter, teach that daughter, cook and entertain. And much more. It still always surprises me when I chat with women who work outside of home - who don't understand what "we do all day." Of course not in an "I'm offended you think that" way, but, just... how different life is for those of us who do stay home. Mindset and all. I'm so thankful for this gift of time at home. I'm so thankful for my full time job!

I've been on a cooking spree - in hopes of preparing delicious, home made, meals for my family. I love it when Brad comes home from work and says, "Smells good in here". It's a good feeling. I love watching my daughter munch down at dinner time - and says, "tastes good" in her own 2 yr old way. :) And the last few weeks we've had a few things that are share-worthy, so I'm thinking I'll share. Cooking seems to be my hobby. I'm not super crafty. I don't write novels or make blankets or take amazing pictures. But, I cook. I enjoy it. No, I love it. It's my expression of love to my family - something I'm good at.

Today I'll share recipes for: Beef Vegetable Soup, Tortellini and Ham, and Chicken Cordon Bleu Bake. Enjoy!

Beef Vegetable Soup
From Taste of Home/ Quick Cooking

1 pound ground beef
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 can (15 ounces) tomato sauce
1-1/2 cups frozen mixed vegetables, thawed
1-1/4 cups frozen corn, thawed
1-1/4 cups beef broth
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon molasses

1) In a large skillet, cook beef and onion over medium heat until meat is no longer pink; drain. Stir in the remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 10 minutes or until hot and bubbly. Yield: 4 servings.
*This recipe is so super easy and the soy sauce & molasses really gives it a different kick! I serve this soup with crescent rolls or homemade bread. {double's easily}
Tortellini and Ham
From Taste of Home/ Quick Cooking

1 package (19 ounces) frozen cheese tortellini
1 cup frozen pepper strips, thawed
3 tablespoons butter
1-1/4 cups cubed fully cooked ham
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1-1/2 teaspoons cornstarch
1/2 cup chicken broth
1 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon dried parsley flakes
1/4 teaspoon pepper
4 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese, divided

1) Cook tortellini according to package directions. Meanwhile, in a large skillet, saute pepper strips in butter until crisp-tender. Add ham and garlic; saute 1 minute longer.
2) Combine the cornstarch, broth, basil, parsley and pepper; stir into pepper mixture. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened.
3) Add 2 tablespoons cheese. Drain tortellini; toss with ham mixture. Sprinkle with remaining cheese. Yield: 4 servings.
*My hubs told me this one tastes like something you'd buy at Olive Garden :) How's that for a compliment? And, using a few convenience items... it's quick and easy! Don't skimp on the parm cheese - shredded really is better then grated for this recipe!
Chicken Cordon Bleu Bake
From Taste of Home/Quick cooking

2 packages (6 ounces each) reduced-sodium stuffing mix
1 can (10-3/4 ounces) condensed cream of chicken soup, undiluted
1 cup milk
8 cups cubed cooked chicken
1/2 teaspoon pepper
3/4 pound sliced deli ham, cut into 1-inch strips
1 cup (4 ounces) shredded Swiss cheese
3 cups (12 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese

1) Prepare stuffing mixes according to package directions. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, combine soup and milk; set aside.
2) Divide chicken between two greased 13-in. x 9-in. baking dishes. Sprinkle with pepper. Layer with ham, Swiss cheese, 1 cup cheddar cheese, soup mixture and stuffing. Sprinkle with remaining cheddar cheese.
3) Cover and freeze one casserole for up to 3 months. Cover and bake the remaining casserole at 350° for 30 minutes. Uncover; bake 10-15 minutes longer or until cheese is melted.
4) To use frozen casserole: Thaw in the refrigerator overnight. Remove from the refrigerator 30 minutes before baking. Cover and bake at 350° for 45 minutes. Uncover; bake 10-15 minutes longer or until heated through and cheese is melted. Yield: 2 casseroles (6 servings each).
*Ick! We do not like Swiss cheese in this family - so I used Muenster, instead. :) And, you can half this recipe if you don't want to freeze one, which, is what we did. Not a lot a freezer space here.
There you have it! Some delicious, easy to make, meals that you can use to be a blessing to your family. :) I love this job!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

32 weeks & cheeseburgers

32 weeks today! I feel great, have a very active little one, and am just counting down the weeks til she's here in our arms. :)


As I mentioned before - we just had over a week of in-law time and something semi-dangerous happened. I was introduced to the DQ blizzard. People just look at me when I tell them I'd never had one before - but, to my knowledge, I really haven't. So, when my mother in law asked if I wanted one the other night... and she explained what they were - how could I resist?!


My new best friend is a Heath Blizzard. I've only had one...but, it was love at first taste.


And while on the topic of food - the combination of ice cream with the sudden urge for a ketchupy, cheesy, burger is not always a good thing. BUT watching your 2 year old enjoy it...priceless! Today on our way home from a friends house Ava asked for a cheeseburger and that sounded like just too good of an idea! So we stopped by Wendys :) I love this girl. I love how funny she is and how she loves to pick off all the pickles so I can have them.
{she's learning how to share!}

Is there anything cuter then a ketcup faced kiddo?! I think not!

Monday, March 21, 2011

A week gone by

I couldn't believe my eyes this morning as I opened my day planner and saw the date - March 21, 2011. How did we get this far already? I suppose having company for over a week helps move things along...but, seriously!? I read in the newspaper yesterday about a couple who predicted today would be the end of the world- March 21st. I woke up this morning thinking about it - WHAT IF?! Strange to me, still, how, even though I long for heaven... do I really? Because the first ache that came to mind wasn't, "oh, to be with Jesus" but, "what about my girl?". Maybe that's normal human stuff - but, it's got me thinking.

My inlaws were here this week. We had a great time with them and my daughter is officially a week wiser in the words she says and questions she asked. This morning she told me she was going to "Plorida" with Grandma and Poppa. So sweet. We always hate goodbyes - and today was no different. But - exciting news - the idea was hinted at about a Iowa Christmas this year! So, we'll see. I vote yes!

This weekend is our Faith Lift women's event for church and I'm feeling totally under the gun to get things done. We have so many little projects going on - and just a few days to tie it all together. Really hoping everything turns out beautifully and as stress-free as possible. :) And, as much as I've enjoyed it... I can't wait to be done! Note to self: Don't join a committee again if pregnant or have small children.

I feel like I need some time to just climb a tree and sit in it, and think a while. What a picture that would be - 32 weeks pregnant and sitting in a tree. Bah! But, seriously, some quiet time will be nice. So much to process. So much swirling in this head o' mine. Nothing drawn to conclusion yet. And apparently something BIG is going on in Libya that I have no idea about... stinkin' basketball season. lol.

Ramblings. That's it for today.

Monday, March 14, 2011

31 weeks and a major purchase :)

Tomorrow marks 31 weeks in my pregnancy countdown. I feel good! The hour change has actually been a bonus for my family. We all slept in til 8:30am this morning... after a lovely day yesterday. :) Gotta love the darker for longer mornings!

May Baby is a kicker, mover and jabber for sure. I always feel like people are watching my belly - even though, they aren't. {paranoid} She is always on the move! And we've entered the hiccup stage, too. Ava had them constantly when I was prego with her - I always knew right where her back was because of them. This baby is proving to be the same way now, only, a little later. :) 31 weeks - I'm now officially into the single digits of weeks until we meet her! Wow!


Last week I ordered my diaper bag. Which, is maybe not a huge deal to anyone else... but to me it's a loooong time coming. I have wanted a Vera Bradley baby bag since I was pregnant with #1. But at $97 a pop, wasn't practical! So instead - I used my other already owned vera bags, bought cheapo little bags to carry and just switched all the time as nothing really "worked". {and, wasn't a fan of spilling formula into my nice vera bags!} So, imagine my bliss as Vera put some of her baby bag patterns ON SALE! Wanna see it?

The pattern is "Hope Gardens" and I think its perfect for my spring time baby girl! It has 11 pockets and is lined so it can be cleaned. And, comes with a matching changing pad! Score! :) I know Vera's not for everyone...but it sure is for me! :)

In other news - my MIL is here for the week. :) Nice to have some family around! Brad and I are hoping to skip out for a date night this week - maybe use our FREE movie tickets, or, crush that sushi craving once and for all. {sigh} What a nice start to the week!