September is here - Thank you Lord!

Does anyone else feel like the end of July and all of August just kinda dragged on and on? Maybe it's just me. Anywhoo, September is here! Right now my dining room table is covered in every fallish decoration I own. I always love spreading them out and trying to think of creative ways to display them. I'm still not sure, so they still sit down there. I did get a wreath on our front door! 

This morning I got up before my family, went down and drank some water {trying to do a full glass before coffee}, made a cup of coffee, threw some clothes in the dryer,  and then headed to my porch chair. It's the first day in the 70's and I hear we have another one coming tomorrow - wooot! 

I'm reading through a little devotional type book called, "Moments of peace for the morning". It has beautiful pictures of nature and what not each paired with a devotional and some scripture. Super simple and perfect for 10 minutes first thing in the day. 

This morning the topic was on remembering what Christ has done and teaching it to our children. I love what Deut. 4:9 says - 

 ^"However, be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you don’t forget the things which you have seen with your own eyes. Don’t let them fade from your memory as long as you live. Teach them to your children and grandchildren."

Moses was speaking to the children of Israel and wanted the point to be heard that THEY MUST tell their kids about what they see God doing in their lives. They couldn't forget how He had provided for them, led them, taken care of them... 

And that good word is still for us today. I think maybe even more so today because we don't always get to follow pillars of cloud and fire, see burning bushes or watch people cross over on dry ground seconds after watching a SEA part! Ok...we NEVER see those things.

Today I'm challenged to be intentional in speaking about Christ in our home. "Thank you God for this beautiful, cool, day." Reminding Ava that every interesting thing she finds outside has a creator, God! Praying out loud when something comes to mind - or just pausing to talk about how the Lord has worked in our own family. My children are 1 and 3 and a deep theological discussion is not yet necessary - but these little reminders here and there DO stick with them.

Because the thing is... just like Israel - our memory fades, and we forget to give thanks and praise to Whom it's due. We forget to glorify and we forget all the Lord has done for us. 

September is here! Praise the Lord! And, explain to your children why we celebrate a new season and what God has done in the season past. 

My corner of the world

There is one particular spot in my home that I love most. It's not the cleanest, by any means, nor the nicest. You can see here that coloring books, crayons, and kids "stuff" has currently taken over. But, I enjoy it probably above other places. It's my front porch over sized chair. In the mornings it's cool and quiet - faces our street and I can see whats going on in the world around me. At least, our world on 1st Street. My bible, journal and the window ledge are there - which acts as my coffee table. On mornings before kids are awake I sit out there with my hot mug of coffee and prep for the day. Sadly, I don't do this often enough. To be honest, I haven't gotten up before my kids... in... a while. So my porch time has been lacking. And that would also include my bible time, journal time, and prep time. Argh.

This morning while the girls were sitting quietly for longer then 2 seconds...
I made my way out there. I held my coffee in one hand and just sat. Breathed. The air was cool and a few leaves have already fallen on the road - it made me tear up and I have no idea why. I think I'm crazy. No, the reality is that life has felt so difficult lately. So a few moments in a chair, on my porch, felt like healing.

Our bathroom is under construction, er... reconstruction, after finding water and a basically ruined sub floor under our vinyl. We've had an industrial dehumidifier and "mega" fan in there to get the moisture out of the floor so the business that will do our repairs can rip it all up and lay down new. We have been so thankful to work with this team of men who are excellent at what they do - and have been so kind and helpful to our family. This is our only bathroom - and, the unexpected need for repair has all but thrown me off. It's hot upstairs from the machines and pretty loud. It takes some getting used to.

My children, especially my biggest girl, seem to take every opportunity to choose wrong lately. I told my husband this morning - I feel like my entire day is spent disciplining, redirecting, warning & feeling upset. It's so difficult! I'm constantly fighting for joy. I never understood that phrase more clearly then I do lately. It IS a battle to choose joy in the midst of circumstances you'd rather not deal with. And in typical stress induced Mandi fashion... I have gained weight, again. We won't even go there in this post. Just, argh. Time and again I end the day feeling like a failure in every area. All the intentions have flown out the window and nothing I wanted to do was done. It's Sept. 6th and I don't even have any fall decorations up yet. And I know that's not the most important thing...but, just saying.

So, back to my porch chair.

I have met the Lord there on so many mornings. Poured out my heart on rainy days, and rejoiced on the glad, sunny, ones. I've journaled a hundred entries and underlined many bible verses... and some days just sat there praying in silence - or, out loud if my family wasn't around. It's my corner of the world where I feel like I can really put my feet up and pull myself together. Or should I say, let the Lord pull me together!? I'm eager to get back to it... consistently. Next week I begin a ladies bible study at church and I can't wait to curl up on my big ol' chair with my bible open ready to drink in the truth. I need it. I'm thirsty for it. Prepping in that chair and learning what the Lord has for me is something I look forward to - am eager for. My corner of the world. Such a blessing in my life. Now I just need some of those 70 degree days... once these 80's and 90's move on. :)

Do you have a spot? Where do you go to set the world aside and focus back in? I'd love to hear about it.

A Day Away

The fam and I headed to a local camp for an overnight getaway on Thursday. We have started up with fall ministry and the entire month of September has already filled up! My husband was wise to schedule our mini trip before the busyness caught up with our young family. Love him.

Our cabin in the woods was perfect. Serene. Had everything we needed...and then some.

It was a two bedroom, full size cabin. We had our own kitchen, living room, fireplace, bathroom {with jet tub} and enclosed front porch. We felt like royalty as we enjoyed the keurig, flat screen tv, leather recliners and humongous king size bed. The camp had taken such measures to ensure their guests were comfortable and really got rest.

I couldn't have asked for a nicer place to stay. :) And, once again my 3 year old felt like such a big girl as she got to sleep in a bunk bed. On top of the nice acommodations we got to enjoy the massive indoor pool and hot tub, walk the grounds and enjoy creation and play some in the gym. The girls loved running around {as you can see with August above}. Ah, we had a great trip. On the way up we stopped and had dinner at Pizza Ranch and the girls loved all the options. {never mind that most of us ended up getting sick later... ugh.} Perhaps the BEST part of all of this, aside from the time spent together, was that it was FREE. This camp serves Pastors and their families by allowing them FREE stay in the cabin. :) What an amazing blessing!

Last week we discovered that our bathroom had extensive water damage under the vinyl flooring. So we have an industrial sized dehumidifier and fan in their drying it out. It will take an entire restoration - involving ripping up the sub floor, reinstalling a new one, putting down new vinyl, and trim and then painting. We've already had some plumbing done and there is a lovely large hole cut in the back of the shower - where a leak was found.  We have been amazed at the skill and care that the team who is helping us out has shown. The Lord has given me a great peace and while I know it will cost... that He will care for us!

This coming week we will attend the funeral of a precious 4 month old who has gone to Jesus. She lived 133 days in the hospital and now we mourn her loss - though we rejoice she is pain free and perfect. My mom heart has been all over the place grieving and feeling the hurt for this young family going through the loss. Yet, I realize, that as the body of Christ - we are all feeling the loss. That's what a family does. 

All this to say...The Lord knew we, as a family of 4, needed a night away together to regroup and prep for the ministry that is placed before us. I praise the Lord for how He constantly provides and cares for us - and I'm so thankful for places that take such care of Pastors and their families.

Someday.

My heart hurts today. I keep hearing person after person that is going through major life pains. Sicknesses and hardships and unimaginable heart break. And I can't help but walk around in this state of prayer asking God "if THIS pleases you" and "if THIS is your will"... let it be done. 

This morning I woke up and read in Mark 6, the passage I turn to often when I begin to feel stressed out or worried or tempted to despair. We, as believers, are told not to worry about our lives - what we'll wear or eat. We are told not to worry about tomorrow. And later we are told to ASK, SEEK, KNOCK. The Lord hears us and cares for us and loves us. And yet sometimes... the answers are still NO. And we have to keep on believing and living Christ. And it's hard. But, He is worthy. 

The song by Nichole Nordeman has come into my mind several times today - and I'm continually comforted in knowing that this pain won't last forever. Someday all things WILL fall into place. We will be with Christ. I'm so grateful today to be resting in the hands of my Abba Father, Jesus. And I'm comforted in knowing... He's GOT this. He's got in all under control. 

Someday

I believe in the rest of the story

I believe there's still ink in the pen

I have wasted my very last day

Trying to change what happened way back when

I believe it's the human condition

We all need to have answers to why

More than ever, I'm ready to say that I

Will still sleep peacefully

With answers out of reach from me until

Someday all that's crazy

All that's unexplained

Will fall into place

And someday all that's hazy

Through a clouded glass

Will be clear at last

And sometimes we're just waiting

For someday

We are born with a lingering hunger

We are born to be unsatisfied

We are strangers who can't help but wander

And dream about the other side of

Every puzzle's missing piece

Every unsolved mystery

More than half of every whole

Rests in the Hands that hold you for someday

Happy Homemaker Monday!

Today is THE day. I've started up my cleaning routine and so far I have ALL of my daily's done :) Now onto  my Monday specific items! I am already loving knowing exactly what to do... and my children have been "ok" at letting me clean upstairs while they played downstairs for a while. New territory.

The Weather:::

This morning it's cool and there is actually DEW in the grass. I know this because the girls and I went out back to play with a neighbor cat and we all got a little wet :) It was lovely.

On my reading pile:::

Oh man! So much good reading. I'm thoroughly enjoying Tsh Oxenreider's "Organized Simplicity" on my Nook. It's completely challenging and the Lord has been using it to peel back so areas in my life that need WORK! I got it FREE on my Nook and if it's not free anymore, IT IS worth your $! 

On my tv:::

Letting the 3 year old watch Octonauts on Disney Jr. And, I think football is back in full swing so... Monday Night Football will probably be on this evening. I need a hobby. :)

On the menu for this week:::

Monday -  Chick-n-Broccoli pot pies
Tuesday - Sloppy Joes
Wednesday -  "Left overs
Thursday - Camp Food - we'll be at an overnight family retreat at a local camp :) 
Friday -  ??
Saturday -  Chicken Noodle Soup
Sunday  -  Meatball Subs

On my to do list:::

Laundry 
Finish cleaning the master bedroom, vacuum it, toss all the trash.
Return kids library books
pick up ingredients for dinner tonight
PURGE DVD's to sell on Craigslist. {something I read in Tsh's book!}

What I am sewing, crocheting, knitting or creating:::

I've been pinning like a mad woman on Pinterest this weekend, in hopes of getting some ideas for FALL decor. Busting mine out on Thursday! Not really creating, yet, but looks like some burlap, apples, and mums will be showing up around here. One idea I saw... incredible! Candy corn burlap banner! 

 

 

Homemaking Tips:::

ROUTINE. get one. 
At least, that's where I am right now... I was just getting overwhelmed and LAZY with a capital L. Felt like I never had time with my family because everything is always messy. I have written out a daily, weekly, and monthly cleaning routine and its super easy and covers EVERY thing in my home that needs attention at some point. :) 

Looking around the house:::

Freshly made bed for the first time in... a while. :) 
Box fan is in the window, I'm hoping to suck in some of that cool outside air before I turn the AC back on this afternoon. Too muggy for this momma. I have a small "to be sorted" box here next to me - which contains a weird mix of lots of things.  

From the camera:::

After a little scare last week... my healthy, happy, SHORTY, little girl :) 

On my prayer list:::

New music pastor and family transitioning in.

Husbands planning for the fall and his lesson Weds night.

Teens to not lose that summer flame

consistency with my 3 year old

Love for people.

Bible verse, Devotional:::

Ah, Psalm 127 had such a timely reminder for me this morning...

"Children are a heritage from the Lord! The fruit of the womb is a REWARD."

*trying being frustrated with your children when thats on your mind! 

Let's Chat

Before I start this new post - let me update you on my precious Auggie. She's fine! I got a call early in the morning from a nurse to let me know all tests came back normal. We'll still see our Dr in 5 weeks to do a follow up measurement, but, looks like we just have a shorty on our hands. :) It's still strange for me to have two children from the same two parents...who are completely opposite in so many ways. That's the beauty and mystery of our wonderful maker, God, I suppose. THANK YOU for your concern, prayers, and love. 

Let's chat for a minute.

My whole family is asleep. I tried to nap - but, the combination of crowing rooster next door mixed with screaming neighbor kids soon zapped my sleepiness. Imagine that. I will admit though that sitting here in the quiet, alone, not needed for this time - is wonderful. This momma has been a bear lately - and not in the cutesy momma-bear way that we often hear about. More like the "I'm going to chew your face off" kind of bear. Unpleasant. I have been short wicked, grumpy, selfish, and just plain ol' hard to live with for the last few days. And I hate when I have those days - they soooo don't line up with my fairy tale image of what a young family should look like.  {wink} Kids aren't obeying, Daddy is tired and busy, Mommy is not happily baking in the kitchen and the house looks like no one has cleaned in months.

I don't want to go into all my reasons or complaints. But I want to bring up a thought. Every time I feel grumpy or like I'll explode if one more thing happens... I immediately wish I wasn't feeling that way. I want to be the happy, homemaking, spring of joy, wife and mommy. I desire that. I cry about that and ask the Lord for His victory in that area all.the.time.  But some days I feel like I'm gasping for air - stifled, suffocating. Parenting is hard. Discipline {constantly} is hard. Submission can be hard. Selflessness is hard. Self control is hard.

Today at lunch, my husband prayed the words, "God, help us to live like you and for you". Right there in the middle of Wendys I wanted to sob like a baby. THAT'S EXACTLY IT! When I'm not thinking of living for the Lord, or desiring to follow and BE like Him... I'm off course and nothing goes right. This explains my discontent with where I live when it seems like we are lacking. {we aren't}  It's why I just want to lay around all day drinking flavored coffee and watching tv instead of rising early to seek HIM, set to work for HIM, to glorify HIM and in result love my family. When I let my selfishness take over, when housework and parenting seems overwhelming and I want to quit, when I'm not diligent, when I don't care about other people but I care too much about what they might think - I'm not living for God and I'm certainly not living LIKE Him, either. Convicting.

Do you ever feel like you know what needs changed but you don't know how to change it? I do. And that's where I've been this week. I have sat down and drawn up a cleaning schedule, a new meal plan, some school lessons, etc. and yet that ache in the pit of myself was still there. That irritation. No matter how I try to organize and plan our life - I just keep getting annoyed that it doesn't play out like I want it to. But, don't you see the hole there? Instead of seeking the Lord I'm seeking self help, self motivation. Which, to be clear, there's nothing wrong with schedules and menu plans. But when I'm constantly trying to skate by on my own strength... I will fail every time. Because I was not created to live on my own strength - Thank God!

Psalm 118:14
The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.

 Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,  and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,  to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:14-21

Tomorrow begins a new week. A start over. I can't undo my short words or bad attitudes of yesterday - but, I can seek the Lord and have a better outlook for this week. Aren't we so grateful for the Lord's grace in our lives? I know I am.

It's no coincidence

This morning as the girls were doing their thing, I brewed a hot cup of coffee and sat on the front porch over sized chair, bible open, ready for some direction. I went to bed feeling refreshed and cared for last night - after a beautiful prayer time with precious ladies. The Lord always knows when I need that most. Yesterday was one of those MOST moments. It was sweet.

But there I sat in my chair with my steaming mug and Vera Bradley-clad MacArthur study Bible. The porch was still cool from the night and it felt wonderful. I'm still convinced the Lord made those cool mornings just for me :) I opened to Psalm 121 and the familiar words were right there in black print...

"I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?  

My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade at your right hand.

The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

The Lord shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.

The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore."

It's hard not to be encouraged when you are reminded that the same God who led Israel...still leads me. The same God who directed David, Moses and the disciples... still directs me. My Help. 

At 1:10pm today my children and I went in for a routine well-child visit for my 15 month old. We went through all the normal things - play in the well child waiting area, try out the drinking fountain, fill out the form about how stressed out mom might be... etc.  Nurse called us back and we made small talk about the fair, my 3 year olds funny stories, all while we were weighing and measuring my now almost nakey 1 year old. She hates that part - being flopped down on that huge scale and then stretched out to see how long she is. Screams. But we did it and moved on. 

Once back in our private room I noticed the nurse kept looking from clip board to computer screen and tracing with her pen. Hmmmm... 

She asked if I would mind if we measured Augs one more time. Sure. No big deal. More screams. Back to the room, again. And then she turned the computer to me and with one slanted eyebrow she said, "Doesn't look like August is growing. But let's see what your Doctor has to say." And then she left. I just glared at the computer screen with the line going straight across and not up the hill... like it's supposed to.

What I can't explain to you is that feeling at that moment. That "everything-will-be-fine-I'm-sure-but-what-if-its-not-oh-my-word-oh-my-word-oh-my-word" feeling.

My Doctor came in pretty quickly and we went through all the heartbeat, eyes, ears, throat stuff. Talked about 15 month old things and how August won't touch a veggie at all. She asked about my husbands trip to Haiti and how Ava was doing. She's calm and awesome like that. Then she reviewed nurses notes and furrowed the brow and said, "So what's going on with August?". And I didn't know what she meant? I, obviously, am not a doctor. I think I mumbled something about how many teeth she had now. She explained that Augs was down to the 22% for length - that's pretty small for a girl from this family. {Her sis is STILL in the high 90's for everything} Her head and weight were good, but, shrimp boat was especially...shrimpy. She wanted us to come back in just 6 weeks and remeasure her and if things didn't change she would do a blood draw and run some tests. 

Another glance at the ol' clipboard and she looked at me and said, "actually, let's go ahead and do that today." Gulp. 

I took for granted that not everyone goes in for well child visits and walks out with well children. Because I ALWAYS have, Praise God for that. But I wasn't freaking out yet - this was precautionary - just to make sure. Dr explained that this could be simply a thyroid issue, but more then likely was nothing, and then she asked me to describe what every one of her aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc looked like height wise. As if my brain were not swimming at that point. I was totally thrown off guard. Anyway, preparation was made and I had to physically hold down my screaming 15 month old and watch as they drew blood from her tiny, baby, arm. Sobbed. I tried to be brave and adult like... but I felt like my heart was getting ripped out as I watched her sign over and over again "all done" to the nurses. There may be no pain comparable to watching your children hurt. And the heart of God came to mind and His love for me and His compassion when I hurt. Thank you, Jesus. The blood team left and I just held her to my chest and we both cried and at that moment I think I hurt worse. 

Sometime tomorrow or the next day I'll get a phone call with results. Someone will call and give a report and life will go on. On the way home I prayed to God and asked that IF it pleased Him that we would get an ok report. That my baby girl would be spared more pain and we'd keep living life as norm with my teeny tiny. But then I continued and asked that if he found it necessary for us to go through a trial - that we would glorify Him through it and rejoice in the chance to magnify Him. THOSE ARE HARD WORDS WHEN YOU JUST WANT TO RUN AWAY AND MAKE IT ALL BETTER. And then Psalm 121 came back into my brain - MY help comes from the Lord. The Lord is our keeper. 

It's no coincidence that I read that this morning. The rest of the ride home I just let that truth minister to my heart, my trembling, though...trying to fight for FAITH heart. 

So we'll see. And, in the meantime we'll keep resting in the fact that we are held in the mighty hands of Jesus.