.::6 weeks and a new normal::.

I woke up this morning actually feeling refreshed and alive. My Jane slept until 5:45am and for any mom of a newborn - that may as well be 12 hours. :) So I fed her and rocked her and she was back in bed by 6. Giving me an entire hour to work on my bible study, check my email and just enjoy the quiet of a new morning. It was beautiful - and hopefully our new routine.

We have made it to 6 weeks. This is a big deal because two weeks ago I was almost drowning in my own tears and feeling the weight of our new life so heavily. Every day was hard and I think I was crying more then the baby. Feedings were going well, but getting Jane to nap was horrible - taking her 20 or 30 minutes to even settle for sleep. I felt like everyone else in the family was neglected as I spent hours nursing and getting baby to nap. My two older girls were watching hours of TV a day and my eldest seems to have grown this all new attitude that I can only guess comes from not getting enough "mom time" and too much tv. So all this weird mom guilt was just piling. Add that to sleep deprivation and a hubby that was out of the home often for ministry things.... crazy. Every night I ended the day sobbing - usually on my husbands shoulder (poor man), blubbering all my thoughts and none of which made much sense. Everyone warns you the transition is hard but you just can't know until you are there. We. Were. There.

{deep breath}

But we made it to 6 weeks and things have really turned around, or at least fallen into a pattern of "new normal". Jane is on a great 3 hour routine and going down for naps better and better. I'm getting more time with my older kids, and the evenings are open now as all 3 girls are asleep by 8:30 - so I can actually sit and talk to my husband. What a whirlwind this last month and a half has been. But if I am being honest it has been a tremendous time of growth... as most "valley times" are. My prayer life has grown as really sometimes there was nothing else to do but sit and cry to God. Sometimes it's very sweet as I sit and nurse the babe and pray for her. Other times it's through tears of frustration or loneliness, or just praying for my children as I shushed my newborn to sleep. I have so clearly seen the Lord answer many, many prayers and for that I'm changed and challenged. I've been a part of the "Women of the Word" study put out by Crossway and it has been a HUGE blessing to me every morning. If you are looking for something well put together - join in the study! It runs until the end of July.

Jane is beautiful and getting chunkier by the week. Minus a small set back this week with Thrush (she and I), nursing is going great. This is HUGE for me as my experience with my last baby ended me in the hospital for 7 days with mastitis gone very, very, bad. My older girls seem to have adjusted for the most part and we are settling into our new normal. That is, until the month of August comes and our 5 year old goes to school.  Yikes!

It's almost the end of July and although I don't really feel like I've had much of a summer - I'm just thrilled to be feeling human again and watch things get a bit easier. I confess that during all this time I have seen the idolatry in my heart for comfort and ease. Just another step of growth for me. I'm so thankful for the Lords faithfulness in my life and His leading.

Mid week Faves.

Well, we've made it to almost 5 weeks as a family of 5. I can't say it's been a breeze, but it has all been covered in grace for sure! I'm constantly being tested and feel like I learn something everyday. In lieu of a lengthy (probably emotional) post about my mourning my kids growing up, how tired I am, etc. I thought  it would be more fun to do a quick list of favorite things! These are things I've discovered or appreciated over the last month. Here.We.Go.

1. Favorite book(s):
The word of God and a really, really, great book on bible study.

If you aren't familiar with Jen Wilkin or The Gospel Coalition... take a minute and go check out THIS SITE.
Oh how my hunger for God's word and for non-fluffy TRUTH has been reignited in the last few days. I have found myself on more than one occassion in life basing my view of God on how I feel... dangerous ladies. Very dangerous. This book along with great scripture study through the old testament has really been challening my view of God and how I study His word. I definitely recommend this book!

2. Favorite treat:
Peanut Butter M & M's and regular coffee with coconut creme creamer. Lethal combination if taken together before breakfast...but, sometimes we mothers like to break all the rules :)

When my mom was here 2 weeks ago she bought me this XXL bag. Bad, bad, bad idea to keep around when you are sleep deprived and falling on sugar to sustain you. Delicious. But bad!

3. Favorite newborn:
Obviously - my Jane. Who has affectionately now been called: Janer, Jane Bane, Janie, Jane Ev, Evelynnie, and random other assorted ways of saying her name. :) We love, love, love this baby - who apparently wants held at all times.

She turns 5 weeks old on Friday and I think we are really falling into a nice routine. She is up just once at night and for only 20 minutes max. :) I'm finding myself really slowing down and just enjoying her. Savoring every minute... precious. 

4. Favorite blessing: MEALS!

Our church family is amazing. I'll just say that. Since Jane was born we have been getting 3 home made meals a week delivered to us. What a blessing it is to not have the extra task of prepping meals, grocery shopping, etc.while I continue to rest and adjust. We've had such yummy meals, too! These ladies really do glorify God in their service to us new mommas! :) We get our last meal today and then I think... I think, I'm ready to start menu planning and cooking again. 

5. Favorite NEW thing: Patio Furniture!

We saved the rest of our tax return and bought this 10 piece patio set from Menards. (This is not our yard..)

It's so great to eat our meals outside on the deck and I love the two recliner chairs and side table for extra lounging space after we are done eating. Summer may continue now :) 

6. Favorite smell:

Cozy Home, by Yankee Candle.

(found this pic online... )

The girls and I made a pit stop to a store called Tuesday Morning where I found this candle clearanced WAY down. And for those of you who know me well... I'm ALL about autumn, warm, smells. It's so cozy and really does clear the atmosphere when I'm feeling tense or stressed. :) 

Happy Wednesday! Hoping you can enjoy favorite things where you are! 

Rainy day thoughts with the mushy post baby brain.

Today is the 3 week mark of bringing Jane into this world. Crazy how fast (and yet kinda weirdly slow) three weeks can go, huh? As I type the house is quiet except for the gears clicking in the swing that my wee one is rocking in. She is THE MOST AWAKE newborn I've ever met...today. :) 3 weeks and we seem to have gotten some sort of routine down which makes the organized part of my brain SO happy, but makes my mommy-wants-to-stop-the-clock part whimper a bit. She's already changed so much with newfound chub rolls and this smiling thing and growing out of nb size clothing. {sniff} But anyway, the house is quiet and I should be sleeping, too - but I never seem to be able to once I get all the children down. My body screams for sleep but my eyes won't seem to obey. I feel good, mostly, though I'm in dire need of a pedicure and eyebrow tweezing. I'm out of maternity clothes and nursing is going really, REALLY, well this time. Praise the Lord!

The learning curve of having three children has been interesting for me. I feel like I look at people differently now that have 3. Oh, I get it now :) How sometimes you get everyone loaded into the van and get in your own seat and see just what your 5 year old has chosen to wear that day (even though you lay out clothes for her...), or how the 3 year old is shoeless and then you hear that newborn blow out sound and realize you are going no where and fast. I get it now. I understand how even in the stink hot part of summer children no longer get a nightly bath, how dinner seems more like a drive in whirlwind of food rather then a normal sit down affair. I get it now. How 4am seems like a perfectly normal time to wake up and drink coffee because it's quiet... except you can't move because you are so exhausted so you fall back to sleep after nursing a baby and have a dream about a nice cup of coffee instead. I. Get. It. I also see and understand why mom's go crazy or at least feel like they are. My tongue has been so sharp the last 2 days and I'm in this horrible mix of over tired, emotional, adrenaline mode - even with help here. My oldest child wants to do crafts one after the other, my middle girl wants to be read to...in my lap, constantly and the newborn seems to like only me all the time. How does a mom do it?! My lap never felt so big. Nor my heart. What a weird time in life. I am so tired and worn by the end of each day - but the Grace of God is so ever present in each moment. I know my strength is coming from Him and for that I am thankful.

It's been raining for 2 days in a row and the weather forecast looks like we have several more days of thunderstorms ahead. Part of me cheers and part of me cries. No outdoor time makes for stir crazy children. What a blessing its been to have my mom here this week to help entertain the troops. :)

3 weeks in and we surviving. I even had time in the Word this morning with HOT coffee next to me. We continue to learn and grow as a family - for better or worse. And we continue to be thankful for our new addition. I know these days will fly by... I'm trying to treasure them each in my heart.

Precious snuggles.

Our first outing to the park. 

Middle girl enjoying a tea party 

Oldest sis holding little sis

Much has changed...Life with 3

June 6th at 12:14am we welcomed Jane Evelynn into the world. It was by far my most painful delivery, although quick. She arrived weighing 8 lbs 2 ounces and has been our precious gift since then! Someday I'll get a few minutes to sit down and write out her birth story, but for now I'll just tell you that YET AGAIN I wasn't sure I was in labor for most of the day. Though, this time I wasn't as totally clueless as I was with my last child :) Were it not for a friend timing my contractions (while at VBS) I wouldn't have even know I was 2-4 minutes apart.

Jane is named after my husbands Grandmother and has the middle name Evelynn (two N's) after my Grandma. The extra N is because my middle name and my mothers is Lynn. So, we have lots of "named after" in one little name. :)

My two biggest girls are doing so well with the transition and we are all smitten with this little baby. What a gift!

So, things on the ol' blog are on slow down mode until we (I) adjust to life with 3 kids. So far its going well, and yes I do miss my sleep. But Jane sure is worth it!

May 30, 2014 {Thoughts}

Well, my due date is looming in front of me... 5 days. I've been "checked" for the last several appointments and remain at a 1cm. So, if I don't go into labor before - Tuesday I have a non stress test and ultrasound to check on baby. While I haven't taken too many pics of this belly, here's one from 2 weeks ago - roughly 37ish weeks. And I laugh at the poor, poor, quality of my little ol' cell phones pics :) But you get the point.

In the meantime we have:
-Ava's 1st dentist appointment
-a ballet rehearsal and recital the next two nights in the next town over
-one more graduation open house
And...
An entire week of Vacation Bible School at church, of which my husband plays a large role. :)

It makes my head spin and sorta dread when my girls are older and get into sports and activities. I am a homebody through and through. But for this moment today, I'm sipping my coffee, enjoying my young children and waiting for a baby to come. May ends this weekend and then life changes for us. A new season, in many ways.

Despite my elephant ankles and restlessness I have gotten a few house projects done. Though my list goes on and on and on. We ripped down some wallpaper on the basement stairs and were pleasantly surprised to find GRAY paint underneath :) I've been working on our finished side down there and finally got my dresser painted and curtains made to hide the "laundry side". I'm planning to paint the walls green :) GREEN! Everything down there is cream and bland, so it's getting a makeover. In time. The dresser was FREE and given to us about 5 years ago - I spray painted it white and spray painted the pulls metallic bronze. It's now perfect for crafts of all sorts for the girls :) {Also, may make a great place to stop and fold laundry... until I get my vignette up above it}

The curtains were super easy and I whipped them up on a saturday morning :) I bought the material and made them, then realized we had about 5 inches on the bottom...too short. So I grabbed my extra burlap and extended them. LOVE how it turned out.

Life rolls on and we are eager to meet our #3 girl! Especially these two, who, now that they share a room are enjoying the pleasures of all things 6am. {Sigh}

Mixing everything at once.

I feel like a human blender today. I'm working on being very pregnant (37 weeks!) while finishing up the nursery and misc other 100 jobs I can think of to be "ready" for baby and family to follow. Note: Why DO we put so much pressure on ourselves to make things "perfect" for the mom that's coming to HELP us?! :) Rant over...continue.
I'm also working full steam on my baby girls THIRD birthday party to be held this Saturday after a busy afternoon of high school graduation open houses. Whew. I'm tired and it's only Wednesday. Tack on the everyday chores, raising two bouncy girls, ministry responsibilities and preparing somewhat decent meals... it's just a big mix of life. And it's all good.

This weekend my husband was THE MAN. He spent most of his day off on Friday helping me clean the house and really did mostly everything himself as I can't seem to peel myself off of the couch. :) So thankful for him. We binned up and moved about a million bins of girls clothes down to the basement - and I feel a little more organized. We purchased bunk beds online, as well as a few other needed items for the new babe. And then he made Mothers Day so special complete with gifts and a wonderful lunch at my fave place - PF Chengs. :) Yum! I napped all afternoon and that night went out with some girl friends for a ladies night. It was heavenly. These little ladies are what make me a mommy and I love them to pieces! Even though they make ridiculous faces.

As I mentioned, my baby turn 3 on Saturday. I'm struggling with that just a little bit because all I can see is this pic of her fresh face the day after she was born.

So, time seems to have once again slipped on and my newborn is turning 3. (sniff) I know my arms will soon be filled with newborn-ness, but each child is so precious and special. I always kinda mourn the growing up part. 

I'm planning a special Fairy themed birthday party for her this weekend I can't wait to make it happen! Really praying for enough energy and that the day goes so well. Hopefully I'll get some pics up of the actual day, but here's a peek at just a few of things I'm planning for my special fairy-obsessed-little girl :) 

Fairy houses: we'll be decorating our own.Walmart had tiny houses for .97! Auggie calls them "Stuck houses" because Tink got stuck in one in one of the fairy movies :) I love it! We have all sorts of glitter and sequins and stickers to make them lovely. :) Still debating the moss... would 3 year olds enjoy that?

And, a dum dum tree. Just because its cute and easy and yummy. August thinks Dum Dums are the best candy ever. 

And then just some every day birthday party fun... 

I'm planning to fill an inflatable pool with those multicolored plastic balls - ball pit! And we'll have streamers and fairy wings, etc. Oh I so hope my girlie feels special. 

All kinds of busy going on all around us. We are in the homestretch and I'm secretly hoping that maybe this baby would want to join us in 2 weeks rather then 3. We'll see! 

I'm here, I'm fine, I'm... very pregnant.

Would you believe that for this entire pregnancy I have taken maybe 4 pictures of myself? 4? I documented so well the growth of the belly with my last two babes, yet somehow baby this time is just not getting the picture time. I'm seeing more and more how all those sayings about "Third borns" are true. :) Hopefully we'll remember to take one at the hospital before go-time.

I'm 35 weeks and the finish line is in sight! It's beyond crazy to me that we are already to May and that in just a few short weeks baby will be here in our arms (Lord willing!).
We still have some projects to finish up:
-Purchase bunk beds and move August in with big sis
-Purchase additional mattress for said bunk bed
-Fix up the beat up crib and move it back to highest position
-Move the girls newly painted shared dresser to their shared room
-Take a hospital tour. We are delivering at a new hospital and I'm a bit nervous.
-Order the new pump...really hoping insurance goes a long way for this item!
-Paint the nursery? I SO want this to happen, but when?!
-Plan and celebrate Auggie's THIRD birthday!!!!

Pregnancy wise I feel GREAT just pretty tired all the time. My husband is awesome and has been the picture perfect patient, loving, and errand running kind of daddy to be (again). I'm so thankful for him and the 10pm run to the grocery for pre-cut watermelon, ice cream bars and coke lately. :) He's the best and I'm severely thankful. Even when day after day after day he comes home to a less then tidy house... what a treasure.
I've been having days, full days, where I have contractions all day off and on and no position changes or water drinks stop them. No one seems concerned and then the day after they are gone again. I'm curious to see what my dr says next week at my 36 week appointment. I'm also curious if I'll have another due date baby, go late like daughter #1 or... will we have a surprise EARLY girl? I love pregnancy but I'm starting to think a late May babe might be ok too. :)

Today I used up my Target coupons to stock up on diapers - and because I'm pretty random and love trying everything, I got one of every package... some pampers, some Huggies and a package of UP & Up for down the road. My mini-stock pile seems a little more hopeful now. The Lord has provided for us in HUGE ways with this baby by means of people giving us their gently used stuff, it's amazing. We now have a plug in swing, new travel system, bouncers, clothes, exersaucer. etc. There are just a few "must buy" items left! :)

Life wise... we are doing fine. It's the end of the student ministry year and we are full steam ahead with banquets, sr trips, open houses, graduations and normal end of the season stuff. As much as we love our youth staff and teens - I think everyone is ready for a beak in routine, not to mention some summer weather!

I've been so hit and miss around the ol' blog and I can be sure it will stay like that for awhile. But, I'm here, I'm fine, I'm very pregnant. :)