A year ago...

Exactly a year ago right now, today, my baby girl came into this world. I can't believe she's is 1...I just can't fathom it. It seems unreal to me that this tiny (well, not so tiny weighing in at 8lbs, 13oz) thing to left was so... such a... baby.

She was due Dec. 9 but decided she was very content to chill with momma another week. Of which I did not mind - I loved being pregnant!

The whole experience was amazing... labor was fairly easy (minus TWO epidurals) and after 20 minutes of pushing out she was. She was perfect! She was pink and round and just like the movies... I fell in love.

This year has been life changing. I'm not the same woman I was before Ava. In many ways she has helped me to become a better person and in many ways she just magnifies my sinful self... ouch. All in all - I am so thankful for her and this new life we have with her.

Today while she and I walked around Target I just couldn't stop looking at her little face. She's SO smart. She talks and jibbers away the entire shopping trip. She points to colors and smiles at people. She screams for fun so that people will look at her. And best of all...every couple of minutes she'll learn forward in her cart to hug me. It melts me every time. I couldn't help but be emotional several times this week - thinking of this milestone in Ava's life. I can't believe my little baby is a year old. I can't believe we made it through the sleepless nights, nursing ordeals, diaper explosions, rice cereal, first colds, first teeth, first kisses... it just seems surreal. Part of me is very sad and another part is rejoicing. I'm sure this will always be this way...

Another little part of me (I have many parts) wants to go back in time and relive this day a year ago. I want to hold her for the first time. I want to breath in that newborn smell. I want to hear that tiny curling newborn cry.

I know, tho, that good things are to come. I know that happy days and adventures lie ahead.

A friend of mine once said to me, "God is so good to allow us the opportunity to have babies." And, I couldn't agree more. I didn't understand at the time... but, now that I've had a year to think about it, I just...agree.

It reminds me of James 1:17 -

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above". (I totally just quoted that, may be wrong) Ava will always be my Christmas time baby, my special gift... what a blessing today's celebration is!