The leaves had just exploded into shades of yellow, orange and red.
And that's how we felt...still.
I'm discovering the relationship of mother/daughter.
Although always a daughter... this is my first shot at the other side.
I'm overwhelmed with responsibilty.
I'm captivated with love.
I'm eager for the future but hesistant to let go of the now.
My daughter challenges me.
I'm challenged to love.
I'm challenged to try.
I'm challenged to live.
While I try not to live in my past
This time of year always brings a bit of pain for me.
It was around this time two years ago that we found out we were expecting our first baby.
It was around this time two years ago that we started to tell our families...
It was around this time two years ago that our precious child went to Heaven,
before we even said hello.
I don't think I'll ever forget.
And, that's ok with me.
God, in His sovereignty gave me my Ava Edyn.
Because, you see... it was this time last year that I was carrying her.
It was this time last year that I felt her kicks, jabs and pokes in my belly.
It was this time last year that my heart had started healing
and my hope restored.
It was this time last year that the nursery was finished, crib was set up and we waited.
While my daughter is not my idol.
She is my answer to prayer.
She is my reminder that God hasn't forgotten and He never will.
And when I think about baby #1,
I can't help but wonder what Ava's ultimate purpose is...
why she was so special to be allowed to come to me.
To hold, to kiss, to love.
It was a perfect fall day.
It was a perfect reminder.
(All photos by: Katie Swanson, www.katieswansonphotography.com)