Let me introduce you...

This was baby Pausley #2 {yes, I've got to come up with something other then that to call him/her}

at our 8.5 week appointment a while back. The moment I saw that little shadow-like picture show up on the ultrasound I had to fight to hold back the warm tears starting to form. Every baby is a miracle - pure and simple. And, since losing a precious baby prior to having Ava - I acknowledge that more and more. What a gift to get to live in this country where we can gaze at our unborn children - watch them wiggle and turn, measure them, observe them... I'm still blown away at every one of these ultrasounds.

Yesterday we went in for our 12.5 week appointment. I had trouble sleeping the entire night prior, as if it were the night before Christmas and I was 7 again, only...not. Doubts and fears plagued me... will there be a heartbeat? Can I handle another loss? What if they find something wrong? Am I gaining too much weight? And the list goes on... I don't consider myself to be a worry-er, so it was strange having all these thoughts and fears. I know it's a spiritual battle I fight each time I'm pregnant. And, I'm asking God for victory to take captive my thoughts and HE will help me...always does.

Anyway, the appointment went very well. My weight was down - on account of being SO sick for so long - and my heartbeat/blood pressure was great and the best was... after just a few seconds hearing that amazing little, "bump, bump, bump" from the doppler. Our baby was alive and doing great! Praise the Lord! And yet... we would praise Him even if the doppler was silent.

So, sometime in the middle of May {Lord Willing} we will welcome this little person into our home and life. Though, as any mommy understands, this child has already found a home in my heart. :) I'm eager to see what God has in store for us as a family of 4 - the things we need to learn and areas we need to grow. I'm eager to watch Ava blossom as a big sister. I'm eager to see Brad with a newborn again. I'm eager to wear maternity pants without shame... LOL.

We have another appointment in 4 weeks - which, always feels like half an eternity. But, until then we'll keep praising God for life and wait with anticipation at what He's going to do! And then soon after that we'll have another ultrasound to see if baby is a SHE or HE. We are thrilled! I found these awesome pics online of what baby would look like in the womb today... how can people doubt a God after seeing things like this?