Monday, February 7, 2011

He does not slumber

Wow... an entire night of nightmereish agony.
I woke up so many times crying and scared. The hours wouldn't move on... awful.

I dreamt that my dad was in a horrible car wreck and barely hanging on.
I dreamt that I had to tell our daughter that "daddy wasn't coming home" in another one.
I was covered in "what if" crying and I only wanted to touch Brad's face.

What would happen to me if God should choose to take my husband?
Could I even do this life alone?

As "irony" has it - I finally got out of bed and moved to my computer to shake off the images...
only to read a post from a newly widowed gal my age. Oh how my heart just ached all the more.

"He who keeps you will not slumber..."


Here I sit this morning in the presence of my God - who knows all about my weirdo dreams and hidden insecurities - and He doesn't doze off or leave me in my dreams. He KEEPS me! He HOLDS me! I don't, still, fully understand this - though I do need it. I cling to it. I have to.


beccarankin said...

That is such a great Psalms. Pregnancy dreams are awful. I only had a couple, but man.... so real. The boots are adorable, aren't they? My sister is so talented.Someday I'm going to make my own!

beccarankin said...

PS I'll be praying those dreams go away.