I woke up so many times crying and scared. The hours wouldn't move on... awful.
I dreamt that my dad was in a horrible car wreck and barely hanging on.
I dreamt that I had to tell our daughter that "daddy wasn't coming home" in another one.
I was covered in "what if" crying and I only wanted to touch Brad's face.
What would happen to me if God should choose to take my husband?
Could I even do this life alone?
As "irony" has it - I finally got out of bed and moved to my computer to shake off the images...
only to read a post from a newly widowed gal my age. Oh how my heart just ached all the more.
"He who keeps you will not slumber..."
Here I sit this morning in the presence of my God - who knows all about my weirdo dreams and hidden insecurities - and He doesn't doze off or leave me in my dreams. He KEEPS me! He HOLDS me! I don't, still, fully understand this - though I do need it. I cling to it. I have to.