I really do aim to be positive in my thoughts and speech. I do. It's not only helpful to those around me, but it's a mandate as a believer to be a LIGHT and SALT to a flavorless and negative world. Because I have the truth of Christ risen and active in my life - that's the motive.
At the Resurgence conference last fall the quote, "Because Jesus lives I live for Jesus" comes to mind often lately. So does the reminder from one of our former pastors {and I'm sure lots of great authors} "We can't just listen to ourselves, we have to PREACH to ourselves." And that preaching needs to be TRUTH.
Monday night we had our cell group time and we talked about one of Mark Driscoll's sermons - "The Fight". If you aren't familiar...basically, it's the passage in Song of Solomon where the Shulamite won't let her husband in the door at the end of the night. {Song of Solomon 5} Couples fight and most often we just don't do it right - or, even know why. My wise husband pointed out that it seems like the weeks of special holidays - especially Valentines day - couples seem to have a harder and more argument prone week. Why is that so true?! We chatted about how we try to make that one week so perfect, line plans up, etc. and the stress just seems to mount almost cancelling the joy of the holiday. Seems ironic to me.
Anyway, all this to say. We are relating to this. After a week on my own last week while hubby was in Chicago - I came down with a weird respiratory cold of sorts. It totally shut me down. Up all night coughing, exhausted during the day, zombie like. The weekend was full of transition back to daddy being home courtesy of our children, and then held sad and difficult news from family far away. Top it off with some heaviness in ministry... and what a "Welcome home my love" my husband received. Obviously, not my intention. Layer on the feelings of failure.
This week so far has included:
Monday - sitting at two separate doctors offices totaling 3 hours in one day, with two children, by myself. Both trips yielding nothing - no specific diagnosis for myself or supposedly sick kid. Which, I'm thankful for - but, that's a LONG time for.. nothing.
Tuesday - entire morning of running errands. The ones where you absolutely cannot leave your kids in the car so you have to do the whole load/unload thing like a zillion times. :) Got home in time to whip up some quick lunch and then the head pounding came back... wiping me out for the remainder of the day. Literally.
Wednesday - woke up feeling a little better today. {Praise the Lord for antibiotics to kick whatever IS going on inside of me!} My house looks like... well, it's very lived in right now. Every room needs something done and we will not even talk about the 1,000,000 pieces of teensy weensy paper pieces scattered around the house by my 4 year old who learned to use kid scissors last week.
I'm feeling worn and weary and just as I'm starting to perk back up I look around and kind of just want to crawl back into bed {and hope my kids can care for themselves...}. Ever have those days? I know you have. Seems like when Momma is sick - everything just falls apart. So, tomorrow is Valentines day and while I should be thrilled at the prospect of a date night out with hubby - I'm feeling that emotion and dread that I mentioned towards the beginning of this post. Stress is mounting... house in shambles... and the temptation to freak out and ruin a romantic holiday is there.
Instead, the girls and I spent the morning finishing our valentines for cousins and grandparents. I love hearing them jibber-jabber and getting into the moment. We are turning on some music and getting this house whipped into shape. This afternoon I hope to sneak out to Michaels to grab a few things to make gifts, for the hubs. And I'm just praying to continue feeling better and better. Realizing I have a choice in whether or not I'm joyful is convicting.
Tomorrow is Valentines Day. I'll be ready. Or at least... mentally.
And, here's the gist of what hubs will be getting. :) {thank you pinterest!}
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