Friday, December 6, 2013

Nausea and Worry

Since my husband and I embarked on this journey of pregnancy and child rearing way back in 2007 - I've battled. It wasn't over getting fat or body changes or anything like that...but just a general fear of the unknown. We lost our first baby in December 2007, which means as of this past week it's been 6 years. It's still strange and painful to me that if that baby would have been born - we'd have a 5 1/2 year old right now. It was a June due date - just as the child I currently carry has. Maybe that's why I'm battling with worry MORE with this pregnancy.

A few months ago a sweet gal I know suffered a loss at 14 weeks which is where I am on this very day. The start of a new trimester and yet I still find my self surrendering fears to the LORD almost daily. You would think that after 6 years and two healthy pregnancies it would be easier. It's not. But I thank the Lord for this gift of empathy and sensitivity and I pray that I can continue to use my past experience to bless and encourage other Mom's who have to go through it. Nothing is wasted with our God!

14 weeks today and I feel just about as nauseated as I did 7 weeks ago, which is strange to me. My normal pregnancy routine was to be sick about 6 weeks, then magically better. Aka: Second Tri. This time it's SO SO different. I'm starting to believe that my 31 year old body + 2 children + busy ministry lifestyle = continued sickness contribution. Anyone wanna scientifically verify that? That, and, I can't seem to keep nutrition at the forefront this time. Yesterday it was 5:30pm and it dawned on me all I had eaten that whole day was 1 cake doughnut and a bowl of rice. Folks, that doesn't help anyone. But, slowly, the ol' appetite is returning and once I go grocery shopping I plan to buckle down and get serious. I promise.

There have been food aversions aplenty this time around and only a few things that I really want alll the time - when I am feeling up to eating.

- Watermelon & citrus fruits, I cannot get enough.
- Fancy breads (artisan). And thanks to my dear friend, Emily, I got to majorly indulge in some amazing Focaccia the other day. Who doesn't love a good crunch on the outside, buttery, herby, delicious bread?! Oh man, now I want more. And, stock in Panera so I can have bread anytime...
- Aldi's Cranberry Almond Chicken salad: (say what?!)

This is the one that doesn't make any sense to me. First, it has meat in it (gag), second, it's fruit in a salad... which I normally don't enjoy, third, Mayo based. All things I normally just pass up. But for some reason - that salad with hard crackers feels like a banquet. Don't even read the nutrition label, it's fatty goodness in a plastic bowl. :)
- Cold, Cold, water. I'm not one of those momma's who enjoys drinking 9 gallons a day for my health. I normally have to force myself to finish one camelbak a day. (tisk, tisk) Lately, however, I cannot get enough. 

It's almost 4pm and just writing about that made me queasy. Ha! Might need to go sneak some more watermelon out of my fridge. Thankful for the sickness today - and praying the Lord continues to sustain. :)


Alicia Lenoir said...

I just now saw this post, Congratulations on the third child. Sorry to hear the nausea is not gone yet maybe a few more weeks and it will start to go away. I will be praying for you and this little life that you are carrying now, for moms who have lost it is hard carrying babies after the loss. Thankful for the things God puts in our lives to rencourage us as mom that are child will be okay. I always was thankful for the nausea because that helped me to know my baby was alright. Thank you for sharing your heart. Hope your family has a wonderful Christmas season. I would like to meet sometime just to talk and be encouraged, understand your schedule is busy. Just let me know if something opens up. Miss our encouraging talks.

Alicia Lenoir said...

I was glad I didn't miss this post. Congratulations on number three, sorry to hear you are still dealing with the nausea, but I think that is a good thing. Thank you for sharing your heart on the feelings of being sensitive and a little afraid it is hard but as you said God is good at taking care of them. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas season. I miss our times of being able to get together and talk and encourage each other. I know you are busy, but if you would happen to have a day open up, I would love the opportunity of getting together to talk. Praying for you and this new life.

Beth said...

Mang- I didn't realize that you are pregnant- many congratulations on your new, sweet, little person. I still remember those 2 phone calls all those years ago- I think you were the first of several friends that dealt with miscarriage. Going into childbearing years I had no idea how common and difficult that can be. Thank you for your real, honest words. Much love to you from many miles away- I love reading your blog:)