Lately I've had this sense of guilt just wash over me...call it a mini-freak out or maybe a false sense of reality... but, I feel like I'm not making the most of this precious time with my family. Everything feels rushed or unorganized or ... just something. My mom would probably tell me I just need to relax, and she's probably right... in a way. I've lost some of my spontaneity and it's just dawning on me today, even more... because for the first time in a looooong time - I was just that, I was FUN and spontaneous and in the moment. I had a passion to do something and I made it a reality, instead of just thinking about it. 
I always thought in my hollywood-ish imagination that once I had a little family we would do little, fun, things and grow together and experience life and it would always be fun and easy... and, don't get me wrong - we do plenty and we enjoy what we do. I guess I just noticed today that it could be A LOT easier if I just went for it. No holding back. Who cares if my hair is up in a messy bun, no makeup or even matching clothes. Ditch the planner and just GO and make fun a reality. So, we packed up and headed to our local park and made the passionate desire of family fun a reality. And you know what? The reward was sweet. We played in the splash park & on the swings and came home to have chocolate cake for lunch! And tho Ava is merely 18 months old - we made a memory, a fun one! One I want to continue duplicating over and over... {er, well, maybe NOT cake for lunch everyday...} :/ But the point (for me) is - my passions can be a reality. And maybe this makes no sense to anyone reading... but, for posterity... I'll look back on this post and feel the warmth I feel right now! No more holding back - because time is flying and one day she'll be gone... 
4 comments:
I think I know what you're saying -- the more responsibilities I gain, the less spontaneous I've become -- and it's good to be responsible and organized, but the perfectionist in me takes it too far. It's good to be reminded that we can be fulfilling our God-given roles as wife and moms even though our circumstances aren't what we would deem to be "perfect".
P.S. I'm so jealous of all the DSM parks with the water features!
Wow, Mandi. It's like I was reading the thoughts of my own mind...except my thoughts don't sound so well put together. :) I have been feeling the exact same way, especially since summer has arrived! Thank you for the reminder today! :)
h honey.....I hear you loud and clear! Between meals, naptimes and laundry....the perfect little life is a lot more mundane sometimes, isn't it?!
Making fun a reality.........and making reality fun. Two slightly different concepts but both very valuable.
And Amy......you have nice parks with all kinds of fun that towns of 12,000......are highly jealous of....just sayin ;)
Have I told you lately how much you remind of a brown haired, brown eyed girl I feel in love with back in 1975?
You are truly my baby girl!
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