bad times, sickness, poorer, worse

Well isn't that a pleasant title?

Bare with me.

Yesterday I {finally} got to come home from the hospital after 6 of the longest, most confusing days of my life. I don't have the energy to sit here and tell the whole story - but, over those 6 days I have been...


-jabbed by a zillion needles and eventually given a picc line. ick.
-tested for HIV, hepatitis and a whole slew of other things that were so far out of reality...
-seen at least 10 Dr's. All of which let me know what a "strange" case I was. thank you.
-had an 11 hour stay in the ER
-xrays, cat scans, drinkable inks, blood pressure cuffs, more blood draws in abundance.

I'm tired. I'm weary. I'm still confused by it all and I have a million and a half questions that no one can answer. Tomorrow I head back to the first of a few "follow up" Dr appointments and I dread them. They found something "different" on my ultrasound of my gall bladder/liver. While no one would really explain, tomorrow a dr will.

So, as Brad had to once again load up his wife and take her to the ER last week... I was thinking about how funny vows are. We say those happy little things on our wedding days and do we even stop to think what the "opposites" look like? Of course not - it's a happy day. I guess that's normal. I just remember saying to my husband,
"well, welcome to bad times, sickness, being poor and worse all at the same time." We both just gave a weird smile. It's accepted right now.

I know God has a plan in this.
It's just hard.