Friday, August 12, 2011

"If I had my children to raise over again"

If I had my children to raise all over again,

I'd build self-esteem first and the house later.

I'd finger paint more and point the finger less.

I'd do less correcting and more connecting.

I'd take my eyes off the watch and watch with my eyes more.

I'd care to know less and know to care more.

I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.

I'd stop playing serious and seriously play.

I'd run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

I'd do more hugging and less tugging.

I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often.

I'd be firm less often and affirm much more.

I'd model less about the love of power,

And more about the power of love.

-Diane Loomans

"Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up."

1 Corinthians 13:7

It was at Palmers when it happened this time. You know, the sandwich, soup, salad place. The one on Ingersoll - barely busy at dinner hour, our kinda place. We were sitting outside on the patio, all to ourselves, enjoying our dinner and some summer breeze. My biggest little girl finished her PBJ and Cheetos {I know, super nutritious!} and had hopped down to play around a bit. She lined up all the patio chairs in a row and then told Mommy and Daddy to come sit and "watch me". Sit we did. My heart wasn't prepared - I didn't have any warning...

The little girl sits down in front of us and begins to serenade us with the sweetest voice,
"Oh, how he loves us, Oh, Oh, how he loves us...."

and then....

"Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so..."

followed by,

"Twinkle, Twinkle, little star howa-wonder what what are." Her own words.

My eyes burned hot and it was like I couldn't even help myself - I cried. Big, fat, hot tears streaming down my face. It was the sweetest and most precious concert I'd ever been to. And she was singing just for ME, just for US - in that place. My heart just ached as I watched my "baby" turn into a little girl right there in front of me - all singing and what not. When did that happen and how did she get so smart and how is it possible to love a little person more then I do her?

We'd had some rough days this week. There were "situations", short tempers, time outs and spankin's. Life was serious at times as we talked about not peeing on the floor, obeying momma at ALL times, etc. Sometimes when she's at her very worst {behavior wise} - I get so serious. I forget how little she still is. And I wonder if maybe what she really needed was more hugs, more kisses, a silly tickle and a gentle reminder...

So sitting and listening to this mini-concert just tore right to my heart. Her little, baby - sounding voice ringing with precious songs about Jesus - the very one I'm trying SO HARD to teach her of, and yet hardly living like... at times. How confusing that must be. The poem above came to my mind - and I just lived in the moment, let the tears fall, embraced the emotion and then hugged my girl, told her I loved her. And the wave of Grace again washed over me. I only get one chance at this...

1 comment:

Lindsay said...

Um, you almost had me in tears. So sweet! Thanks for the reminder!