April hopefuls

I love April. I love the hope that it brings with sunshine, flowers starting to grow... and this year, Easter celebration. Our ultimate Hope in Christ! :) Remember the little galvanized pails I found from this post? I have still not used them - but, still on the hunt for just the right idea. Wondering if I could use them in Ava's big girl room? Hair bow and barrette holders? I dunno... thoughts on that one? I even thought of maybe creating some cute kind of topiary with pink gerbera daises... bah! who knows!

Yesterday I came across TWO super cute ideas that I had to share - and both look somewhat easy. Something even I could do! Thirfty Decor chick has this post up about using Moss as decoration. I LOVE that idea - because its all nature-y and seems to be everywhere right now at stores. So, I seriously want to try my hand at the giant moss covered monogram. Look how her's turned out - wowza!

I still have plenty of bare walls up in this ol' house that would look lovely with a big ol' mossy letter - say, in a "P". :) Check out her link for a "how-to" and drool over her creativity with moss, birdsnests and little plastic eggs. Cute, cute cute!

My second favorite idea - and probably more realistic for me to attempt is this one using recycled glass jars. Happy Clippings is a new site I've discovered, and it's ca-ute!

I even have the jar on the far left (walmart salsa jar) already in my fridge ready to be cleaned out and used! Score! I thought these would even be cute with maybe some scripture printed on there or something? Very springy!

So there you have it, two new ideas! Anyone tried either of these? I'll let you know if I actually get to them - still working on this big girl room for my big girl. But I DO at least wanna give 'em a shot!

Another week closer...

33 weeks as of yesterday! People having jokingly said to me, "I can't believe how fast your pregnancy is going for me" and I keep responding, "yea, for me too!" and it has! :) Though, things always feel like they are sloooowing down here at the end as sleep and comfort become issues.

{33 weeks - still horrible at self portraits}

I remembered this morning that I never posted any pics of our visit with Grandma and Poppa Pausley, who were here a little over a week last weekish. Ava loved having her grandparents here, and we enjoyed getting some time with them, too! There is something so special about watching your child with their grands. :) Ava still asks every time we get into the van, "where's Dran-ma?" or "where poppa go?". Lasting impression.

By the way, today is a better day. Hopefully I didn't weird anyone out with my post yesterday. I just find that from time to time {well, and always} I need to be REAL - not that I'm ever fake. But, don't we tend to just want to preview a peaches and cream perspective of our lives?! Things are FANTASTIC and I'm a blessed woman - and despite so many little things that could get me down - I'm blessed. I actually got sleep lastnight, too, which makes all the difference.

We have an exciting day and week coming up - Library today with the kiddo, youth group tonight, a massive consignment sale tomorrow with a friend and then a weekend of doing Ava's big girl room and a youth event! And then it's April!

Untitled - or, "the one where this momma has a rough start"

{everyone seems to love MY quilt}

There's something comforting about my raggedy, old, orange quilt. Days like today when I'm angry, emotional, sad and frustrated...

Just holding it in my lap somehow soothes. Calms. {Deep breaths}

I don't sleep well anymore - must flip 100 times a night. Restless and uncomfortable, I ache. 7am glowed blue through our bedroom window - so I rose - and had the thought to read my bible ALONE in the quiet. But Ava's radar goes off as I pee, so, skip that idea.

A twinge of grumpiness lurks... but I squelch it with the new idea of french toast sticks for breakfast.

That's when husband realizes he's run out of "undergarments" - and due to my exhaustion yesterday, the laundry sits undone in the still sewer crusted basement. :/

Another twinge... hot tears now burn my eyes, but I won't cry. Besides, I'm hungry. Ava eats. She throws an apple slice onto the floor and gets a warning. Doesn't heed the warning... breakfast ends in a spanking, tears, and a mom on edge at all of 7:45am.

The livingroom is chaos. Building blocks, ABC magnets, dolls and blankets in every spot. How many children do we have?! Unborn flips while I'm standing and the stretching pain hunches me over in half. A zillion tiny toys that each need me to bend to pick up. Angry by now. Tears leak out. This is difficult for me! I'm too tired.

Now, the washing machine spins, toys almost all put away - child reading, and I have this quilt on my lap. It's quiet now and my coffee is cold - but life is calm again. I've pulled myself together with the Lord's help. And now for that bible reading.

{journal entry from this morning - 3/29/11}

Fear, Worry and being a Mom

How appropriately timed this weekends lessons were for me. The theme of our ladies event at church was "Fear Not", all about learning how to face our fears in life and get on with it. Pair that up with where I'm at in Ann Voskamps "One Thousand Gifts" book and you'd think someone was trying to tell me something. ;)

I've never considered myself a fearful woman. I don't lay in bed at night fretting or crying myself to sleep. I'm fairly calm about lifes events, etc. Occasionally I'll have the weird dreams and wake up in a panic, but, who doesn't?! So, I wasn't really expecting to learn a TON this weekend - or from chapter 8 of Ann's book. But it would be good for review, eh? And then I read things like this...

"Worry is the facade of taking action when prayer really is."

Hmmm... guilty. And then there was this -

"Every time fear freezes and worry writhes, every time I surrender to stress, aren't I advertising the unreliability of God? That I really don't believe?"

So, I did go this weekend with an open heart asking God to work on this obviously "secretly fearful" heart o' mine. And, as always when we ask things like that - He answers. And even more then that, He gave reassurance, Hope and the reminder of His ultimate control. I'm so thankful.

I was able to pinpoint one of my big fears this weekend, too. It's the fear of my baby {babies} growing up and away from me. I'm in love with this stage of life and all too often the thought crosses my mind prematurely that, "they'll leave me". I cannot imagine life without a lap full of blond hair toddler in it, or cheerios on my kitchen floor and finger smudges against the windows. I go into panic mode (kinda) when she bumps up into the next clothing size or learns a new word. All good things - but in my brain, another "thing" closer to her growing up. It scares me. The world is too harsh and scary for her. For me to watch her in.

In chapter 8 of this book Ann has a few pages of her interaction holding her youngest babe after a late night dinner. Her daughter, the baby, had fallen asleep in her arms and she was savoring it. I cried and made a complete mess of my book reading over the pages. I felt like she was talking about me, to me. And this last part caught my breath away -

"Love's a deep wound and what is a mother without a child and why can't I hold on to now forever and her here and me here and why does time snatch away a heart I don't think mine can beat without? Why do we all have to grow old? Why do we have to keep saying good-bye?"

And that's my fear - plain and simple. It's somehow wrapped up in my identity as "Mommy" and the idea that life would have to go on without her...someday.

So, now I know where my work lies and what part of my heart still needs surrendered. And it's Monday. Let it begin.

It's a "Faith Lift" kinda thing

For months now my super creative decorations committee has been buying materials, sewing, hot glue-gunning, spray painting, cupcake liner crunching, measuring and just all around crafting. We made the decorations for our 2011 Faith Lift ladies event - which, begins tonight. :) I tried to take some pictures... but, apparently my camera really is as bad as I feel like it is. But here's what we made:

Table design #1: Black napkin with fun pink sparkly paper. We made the "flower balls", decorated the votives and voila!

Table design #2: We bought fabric and made the table runners, bought glass vases from assorted Goodwills/Salvations army's, etc. and spray painted them black. Later we added beautiful pink tulips to a few of the vases. {more pics to come later}

Hopefully tonight at the event I'll be able to nab a few "better" pics! The ladies worked so hard and I'm so thankful for a creative group who worked together so well. Maybe it's true that 4 brains are better than 1?! :)

Oh, and I almost forgot...
This is the coffee station! We did this by stapling wrapping paper to a divider wall, hanging up some black fabric that we hemmed and sewed up, wrapped some pink ribbon around it, etc. :) It looks so fantastic! Way to go team!

My 1st experience being on a church committee! It was fun, I learned a lot... and now I'm ready for a nap. :)

I love my full time job!

The past few weeks things have been so busy around these parts. We've had company, I'm prepping for a ladies event at church, bible studies have been wrapping up and new ones beginning. Life is just FULL, very full! And there are no complaints, really, other then the fact that I'm very tired. But, I'm learning that a very tired body means lots of good things were accomplished. :)

I've been thinking about my job here at home. One title that encompasses so many parts - Homemaker. I'm the homemaker. I clean, organize, shop for food, raise a daughter, teach that daughter, cook and entertain. And much more. It still always surprises me when I chat with women who work outside of home - who don't understand what "we do all day." Of course not in an "I'm offended you think that" way, but, just... how different life is for those of us who do stay home. Mindset and all. I'm so thankful for this gift of time at home. I'm so thankful for my full time job!

I've been on a cooking spree - in hopes of preparing delicious, home made, meals for my family. I love it when Brad comes home from work and says, "Smells good in here". It's a good feeling. I love watching my daughter munch down at dinner time - and says, "tastes good" in her own 2 yr old way. :) And the last few weeks we've had a few things that are share-worthy, so I'm thinking I'll share. Cooking seems to be my hobby. I'm not super crafty. I don't write novels or make blankets or take amazing pictures. But, I cook. I enjoy it. No, I love it. It's my expression of love to my family - something I'm good at.

Today I'll share recipes for: Beef Vegetable Soup, Tortellini and Ham, and Chicken Cordon Bleu Bake. Enjoy!

Beef Vegetable Soup

From Taste of Home/ Quick Cooking

1 pound ground beef
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 can (15 ounces) tomato sauce
1-1/2 cups frozen mixed vegetables, thawed
1-1/4 cups frozen corn, thawed
1-1/4 cups beef broth
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon molasses

1) In a large skillet, cook beef and onion over medium heat until meat is no longer pink; drain. Stir in the remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 10 minutes or until hot and bubbly. Yield: 4 servings.

*This recipe is so super easy and the soy sauce & molasses really gives it a different kick! I serve this soup with crescent rolls or homemade bread. {double's easily}

Tortellini and Ham

From Taste of Home/ Quick Cooking

1 package (19 ounces) frozen cheese tortellini
1 cup frozen pepper strips, thawed
3 tablespoons butter
1-1/4 cups cubed fully cooked ham
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1-1/2 teaspoons cornstarch
1/2 cup chicken broth
1 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon dried parsley flakes
1/4 teaspoon pepper
4 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese, divided

1) Cook tortellini according to package directions. Meanwhile, in a large skillet, saute pepper strips in butter until crisp-tender. Add ham and garlic; saute 1 minute longer.
2) Combine the cornstarch, broth, basil, parsley and pepper; stir into pepper mixture. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened.
3) Add 2 tablespoons cheese. Drain tortellini; toss with ham mixture. Sprinkle with remaining cheese. Yield: 4 servings.

*My hubs told me this one tastes like something you'd buy at Olive Garden :) How's that for a compliment? And, using a few convenience items... it's quick and easy! Don't skimp on the parm cheese - shredded really is better then grated for this recipe!

Chicken Cordon Bleu Bake

From Taste of Home/Quick cooking

2 packages (6 ounces each) reduced-sodium stuffing mix
1 can (10-3/4 ounces) condensed cream of chicken soup, undiluted
1 cup milk
8 cups cubed cooked chicken
1/2 teaspoon pepper
3/4 pound sliced deli ham, cut into 1-inch strips
1 cup (4 ounces) shredded Swiss cheese
3 cups (12 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese

1) Prepare stuffing mixes according to package directions. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, combine soup and milk; set aside.
2) Divide chicken between two greased 13-in. x 9-in. baking dishes. Sprinkle with pepper. Layer with ham, Swiss cheese, 1 cup cheddar cheese, soup mixture and stuffing. Sprinkle with remaining cheddar cheese.
3) Cover and freeze one casserole for up to 3 months. Cover and bake the remaining casserole at 350° for 30 minutes. Uncover; bake 10-15 minutes longer or until cheese is melted.
4) To use frozen casserole: Thaw in the refrigerator overnight. Remove from the refrigerator 30 minutes before baking. Cover and bake at 350° for 45 minutes. Uncover; bake 10-15 minutes longer or until heated through and cheese is melted. Yield: 2 casseroles (6 servings each).

*Ick! We do not like Swiss cheese in this family - so I used Muenster, instead. :) And, you can half this recipe if you don't want to freeze one, which, is what we did. Not a lot a freezer space here.

There you have it! Some delicious, easy to make, meals that you can use to be a blessing to your family. :) I love this job!

32 weeks & cheeseburgers

32 weeks today! I feel great, have a very active little one, and am just counting down the weeks til she's here in our arms. :)

As I mentioned before - we just had over a week of in-law time and something semi-dangerous happened. I was introduced to the DQ blizzard. People just look at me when I tell them I'd never had one before - but, to my knowledge, I really haven't. So, when my mother in law asked if I wanted one the other night... and she explained what they were - how could I resist?!

My new best friend is a Heath Blizzard. I've only had one...but, it was love at first taste.

And while on the topic of food - the combination of ice cream with the sudden urge for a ketchupy, cheesy, burger is not always a good thing. BUT watching your 2 year old enjoy it...priceless! Today on our way home from a friends house Ava asked for a cheeseburger and that sounded like just too good of an idea! So we stopped by Wendys :) I love this girl. I love how funny she is and how she loves to pick off all the pickles so I can have them.

{she's learning how to share!}

Is there anything cuter then a ketcup faced kiddo?! I think not!

A week gone by

I couldn't believe my eyes this morning as I opened my day planner and saw the date - March 21, 2011. How did we get this far already? I suppose having company for over a week helps move things along...but, seriously!? I read in the newspaper yesterday about a couple who predicted today would be the end of the world- March 21st. I woke up this morning thinking about it - WHAT IF?! Strange to me, still, how, even though I long for heaven... do I really? Because the first ache that came to mind wasn't, "oh, to be with Jesus" but, "what about my girl?". Maybe that's normal human stuff - but, it's got me thinking.

My inlaws were here this week. We had a great time with them and my daughter is officially a week wiser in the words she says and questions she asked. This morning she told me she was going to "Plorida" with Grandma and Poppa. So sweet. We always hate goodbyes - and today was no different. But - exciting news - the idea was hinted at about a Iowa Christmas this year! So, we'll see. I vote yes!

This weekend is our Faith Lift women's event for church and I'm feeling totally under the gun to get things done. We have so many little projects going on - and just a few days to tie it all together. Really hoping everything turns out beautifully and as stress-free as possible. :) And, as much as I've enjoyed it... I can't wait to be done! Note to self: Don't join a committee again if pregnant or have small children.

I feel like I need some time to just climb a tree and sit in it, and think a while. What a picture that would be - 32 weeks pregnant and sitting in a tree. Bah! But, seriously, some quiet time will be nice. So much to process. So much swirling in this head o' mine. Nothing drawn to conclusion yet. And apparently something BIG is going on in Libya that I have no idea about... stinkin' basketball season. lol.

Ramblings. That's it for today.

31 weeks and a major purchase :)

Tomorrow marks 31 weeks in my pregnancy countdown. I feel good! The hour change has actually been a bonus for my family. We all slept in til 8:30am this morning... after a lovely day yesterday. :) Gotta love the darker for longer mornings!

May Baby is a kicker, mover and jabber for sure. I always feel like people are watching my belly - even though, they aren't. {paranoid} She is always on the move! And we've entered the hiccup stage, too. Ava had them constantly when I was prego with her - I always knew right where her back was because of them. This baby is proving to be the same way now, only, a little later. :) 31 weeks - I'm now officially into the single digits of weeks until we meet her! Wow!

Last week I ordered my diaper bag. Which, is maybe not a huge deal to anyone else... but to me it's a loooong time coming. I have wanted a Vera Bradley baby bag since I was pregnant with #1. But at $97 a pop, wasn't practical! So instead - I used my other already owned vera bags, bought cheapo little bags to carry and just switched all the time as nothing really "worked". {and, wasn't a fan of spilling formula into my nice vera bags!} So, imagine my bliss as Vera put some of her baby bag patterns ON SALE! Wanna see it?

The pattern is "Hope Gardens" and I think its perfect for my spring time baby girl! It has 11 pockets and is lined so it can be cleaned. And, comes with a matching changing pad! Score! :) I know Vera's not for everyone...but it sure is for me! :)

In other news - my MIL is here for the week. :) Nice to have some family around! Brad and I are hoping to skip out for a date night this week - maybe use our FREE movie tickets, or, crush that sushi craving once and for all. {sigh} What a nice start to the week!

What is WITH these Cravings?

As I lay my 2 year old down for bed tonight, I bend over the rail of her crib - rub her sweaty little head to say goodnight and BAM out of nowwhere... "MUST HAVE SUSHI NOW" rushes through my brain. Random.

The hubs is out on a youth event and here I sit all pregnant and no where to go with these massive, sudden cravings. I'd always heard women talk about them - but I don't think I had them with my first pregnancy. But tonight it's almost like a little person is on my shoulder whispering... Sushi, Sushi, Sushi. Weird. And tempting.

Since I'm in for the night and can't go out to find my taste buds desires - maybe some water will do?

It's gettin' all crazy up in here

Before I go into my post - let me pass on a link that you MUST check out if you have daughters you love to dress up! {or, little girls who would look adorable in an adorable handmade dress} My friend Londa over at The Sneaky Mommy is doing a giveaway and I WANNA WIN! :) Check out this post here - that links to a super cute Etsy shop! And here's a little glimpse of what's on the line for the big win:So, go check it out... make a purchase, even!

Now, onto Thursday. I heard a rumor that today was supposed to be 48 degrees. However, as I look out my window at the remaining snow, gray skies and smoke rising from chimneys - I'm becoming a doubter. That's ok... I have plenty to get done up in here. You see, it's getting ALL CRAZY and I'm running out of time. Brad's parents are coming in this weekend and staying for a week - AWESOME! However, I'm halfway into the painting job in Ava's new room - our basement needs a total clean over after the sewer mans' visit {ooh} - and at 30 weeks pregnant I'm just not going as fast as I once could. :)

I did get some work done on one of my DIY projects - wanna see?

Remember these random vases I found at Salvation Army?

Well, they have now been painted and finished. I LOVE how they turned out! Especially the one with the flowers on it. :) LOVE!

Now to gather some "filler" and find the perfect spot for them. :) They are such a good fit for our living room OR dining room - and the total project up to this point has cost around $10 including paint and the actual vases.

Hopefully, after I finish painting the "big girl room" I can get back to my little project and have a finished product picture to share. So, guess I should get to work! But I have to say - I am loving trying these DIY ideas and seeing how easy they really are :) Even I can do them!

Happy Thursday! And, don't forget to check out that Etsy giveaway!

30 weeks!?

{Photo taken at the end of 29 weeks}

I cannot believe that I am 30 weeks with this little baby! Yesterday when I woke up I almost cried...well, there were other reasons if you read yesterdays post. But, that did play into it. 30 weeks?! That means - only 10, maybe 11 left? That means - I HAVE to finish a certain big girl room, find a baby swing, pick out some clothes, prepare for birth...

We are so excited. So many unknowns. :)

I have my 30 week appointment today & I'm eager to hear that little heartbeat again. :)

When everything falls apart...

I went to bed lastnight with a heavy heart. Our home was built in 1914 and so far we have had NO problems with anything. Homeowning has been wonderful! But, lastnight, as I was doing laundry I noticed some water. To be more specific... disgusting, sitting, brownish water that looked like it got "burped" up out of the floor drain. Then I noticed that the drain from the washing machine was running reallllly slow. Another puddle over there. My heart just flip flops about stuff like this and all I can see is $$$ signs. {sigh} Did I mention our shower drain is also running realllly slow - even after a full jug of Draino? What is going on?!

We decided to call it a night and see what would be in the morning...this morning. I hardly slept lastnight. This 3rd trimester insomnia/peeing all night/ thinking about a drain got to me. So I'm drained today. No pun intended. Bah, ok, maybe!

Anyway, this morning I went down to scope out the situation.

Bad idea.

More water. Spread out. One wet cardboard box. Etc.

Panic sets in. Only because we have no knowledge of this kind of thing... as if knowing about it would make it better. THANK THE LORD nothing else is wet and the water is contained to just around our furnace. It's way less then an inch - but, stinks, literally. But not like sewer...so the mystery continues.

This morning I celebrate the 30 week mark of this pregnancy. And here I thought everything in life was going so smoothly. Now our basment has water, some clothes got ruined by a pair of dark jeans, insurance copays are going up {again}, rooms are half done being painted, and... the bath tub will not drain. I feel like everything is falling apart.

I need saturation in the Word of God today. Despite my fatigue, despite the plumber coming in this afternoon to draw $$$ on paper. I need to focus on truth. This is the promised life... a life of challenges and adversity and finding true joy in the everyday. Reality. Doesn't make it easier to admit that, but, truth heals the heart. Truth mends the mind.

Comparison

A few mornings ago our little one woke up with her hair going nuts. It was hilarious. She just looked so so funny. It was poofy and unexplainable. My hubs was quick to point out that she resembled a character we know well from a certain 80's movie.

Oh, daughter...

You are always filling us with laughter. You are such a joy. :)

{and, you don't realllly look like him... really}

Loss

I've been struggling the last few days to come up with words on how I'm feeling. I still don't know how to wrap my heart and brain around some things... and I keep having this inward battle - fighting for truth. Ever go through something like that? A week ago is when it all started... I noticed some sympathy notes on a friend from college fb page. I hesistated to look because at first, honestly, I didn't think I could handle "the knowing". You see, I knew she was pregnant - just a few weeks beyond me. But with trembling hands I clicked.

Agony. Their baby girl was gone. She was diagnosed with Potter Syndrome a few weeks prior and was now...gone. At 32 weeks. Sitting alone at my computer feeling my own little unborn squirm and move - I lost it. I burst out in an angry and hurting cry - though I'm sure nothing compared to how this little ones momma must have cried. And is crying still. Her own flesh. Their own blend of life...gone, in a moment.

I couldn't breathe. The "what if's" started and I felt like I was suffocating. Then, I got a grip, and felt a wave a grief wash over me all over again as I remembered this sweet friend from college. We lived in the same dorm. She had life. She was beautiful. She was artistic and fun. There's no way she would have had this plan for her life... if we were in charge of the planning.

"God" I cried. "Why?" and then I just sat there. The illumination from my computer screen bouncing off the tears that streamed down. And the thing is... I know too much. I know my theology on God and WHO He is and What He does. I know scripture. I know truth. But its in those moments - the sharp, grasping, squeezing ones - that my brain goes numb and my heart sways. Because instead of this person just being another sad story...another one of those, "oh, can you imagine?!" type deals that you don't really know but you feel sad about for 2 seconds...this one is staying with me. It's personal. I KNOW this girl. I KNOW the man she married. And here I sit looking at pictures of her precious baby girl who is now in the arms of Jesus... instead of theirs. Which, in our Christian circles is so comforting to talk about. But when its YOU, that comfort isn't always immediate. Truth be told, sometimes it takes years.

I can't help but connect. And maybe this is why we are commanded to "weep with those who weep". And maybe this is why I lost my own little one those few years ago. To feel...again. To remember. Though I never held mine at a developed 32 weeks - I held mine in different ways only a mother could understand. I remember taking the "tissue", as they called it, in to the pathology lab. I remember the dull ache in my soul as I handed over the part of me I had lost...to a lab worker wearing white rubber gloves, who had no idea how important this little piece of life was. Do you know what it feels like to carry your unborn in a plastic bag?! An 8 week grown tiny life whose heart stopped. Who you never get to meet. Who you will always, always, always wonder about. And yet - when you look at your growing, healthy, earthly existing 2 year old, you think... "So, what is her plan?" instead. Bittersweet is a horrible word for those moments.

The other night at my teen bible study one of my girls surprised me by answering a question on God's sovereignty. It blew. my. mind. I had to swallow hard and blink fast to keep going. Or I knew what would follow...

"Not to us, LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness. Why do the nations say, “Where is their God?” Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him." Psalm 115:1-3

My God. My sovereign, omniscient, holy God has a plan. It's not something He makes up as He goes. And more then the plan... His Love. His faithfulness. His all encompassing protection and guidance. It's a package deal. We don't understand and maybe that's where Faith comes in. When we just have to weep, mourn... and then get on with it knowing that "To God be the Glory" - even though we don't totally understand that. Loss is something I'll never be comfortable with. And I know that in my "current condition" it's wise to guard my eyes and heart from things. But, honestly, I'm so thankful to GOD for allowing me to mourn all these miles away with a fellow school mate. I'm thankful for the way God magnifies the blessings in my life and reminds me that although there is no guarantee in some things... eternity with Him is for sure.

And, I have to wonder...as my brain always does... Why? Why allow me to see and feel this now? The mystery is almost too much for me.

But, life goes on, painfully. And even today I'll go to the local hospital and meet two brand new babies. Full term babies. Born healthy and happy, being held by mommies and daddies. And my heart will sting and burn for my friend - but, on the other hand - what a comfort, again, to remember just WHO is in charge. I can smile that way. Life is weird. Life is beautiful.

29 weeks, March 1st, and sunshine

Those three things encapsulate my day & life today. Praise. The. Lord.


First, pregnancy update. Today marks week 29! Can I just express to you how I'm always a little sad about reaching this milestone... I love being pregnant and this to me, just shows how quickly it goes and how very soon this phase will be over. I do so look forward to meeting our newest addition...but, oh how I treasure every inward squirm and jab. I'm going to have the hubs help me take an updated picture tonight. At least my mom in Ohio would appreciate that! :) I feel great and things are going just fine. Sleep has become an issue - but, when isn't it?! Lastnight I was reading through my "Pregnancy week by week" book and they had this encouraging thing to say: "Birthweight of an infant increases with the increasing number of pregnancies you have or the number of babies you deliver." Ahem, need I remind anyone that Ava was 8lbs 130z!!! BIGGER?!

Second, March 1st!!! March is here! And Sunshine! We woke up this morning and I almost felt giddy. The snow has melted almost entirely from our yard, the sun was beaming high and warm and... do I see buds on our tree?

Ave's and I were inspecting what we could see in the backyard. She asked if we could go "picking" (strawberry picking) and then we opened the glass window in celebration of the sun coming out! It's closed now. Freezing breeze. But, still! And, isn't she beautiful? I love this girl. But yes, March, we welcome you. I've got my St. Pats recipes out again, working on a decor project for the table, and... might possibly be welcoming my bro and sis in law in this month!

Today we are thanking God for His many, many blessings in our lives. We know that so many are hurting or downcast or broken. We feel rich in the Lord. :) We are rich in Him!

Ava's new room project is still underway. I'm currently snatching ideas from any and everywhere I can. Lately, mail order catalogs have been a big help in finding ideas. I'm loving..
- The Land of Nod Seriously, adorable stuff... and possibly some things I can make myself!

(and, NO, we aren't naming May Baby Sophia... just happens to be their advertised name) :)

Happy March 1st! Make the most of it!