Untitled - or, "the one where this momma has a rough start"

{everyone seems to love MY quilt}

There's something comforting about my raggedy, old, orange quilt. Days like today when I'm angry, emotional, sad and frustrated...

Just holding it in my lap somehow soothes. Calms. {Deep breaths}

I don't sleep well anymore - must flip 100 times a night. Restless and uncomfortable, I ache. 7am glowed blue through our bedroom window - so I rose - and had the thought to read my bible ALONE in the quiet. But Ava's radar goes off as I pee, so, skip that idea.

A twinge of grumpiness lurks... but I squelch it with the new idea of french toast sticks for breakfast.

That's when husband realizes he's run out of "undergarments" - and due to my exhaustion yesterday, the laundry sits undone in the still sewer crusted basement. :/

Another twinge... hot tears now burn my eyes, but I won't cry. Besides, I'm hungry. Ava eats. She throws an apple slice onto the floor and gets a warning. Doesn't heed the warning... breakfast ends in a spanking, tears, and a mom on edge at all of 7:45am.

The livingroom is chaos. Building blocks, ABC magnets, dolls and blankets in every spot. How many children do we have?! Unborn flips while I'm standing and the stretching pain hunches me over in half. A zillion tiny toys that each need me to bend to pick up. Angry by now. Tears leak out. This is difficult for me! I'm too tired.

Now, the washing machine spins, toys almost all put away - child reading, and I have this quilt on my lap. It's quiet now and my coffee is cold - but life is calm again. I've pulled myself together with the Lord's help. And now for that bible reading.

{journal entry from this morning - 3/29/11}