This could go either way...

In just a few hours I am heading out for a women's retreat - put on by our church. This years theme is...

Do you see what the topic is? "Proclamation!" - or, to say it another way, EVANGELISM. What is my deal with feeling a nervous lump form in the back of my throat? It's been building the last few hours as the clock ticks closer to arrival time. I've even felt sweaty palms and freezing cold feet off and on just thinking about it.

Want to hear a confession? While I'm passionate about my Jesus and my walk with Him... sometimes sharing Him with a lost world that will probably reject the message or possibly even redicule me has always been tough. There I said it. Truth be told - God already knows this about me, and I am pretty sure thats why my nerves are slightly on end and I feel my defenses going up. He knows my selfishness and pride that more often then not take the place of tackling an opportunity. Don't get me wrong - I'm open to sharing, I want to share and I know its part of my high calling... I'm just learning to get over myself and care more for what GOD thinks, not man. Gasp! I've always been accused of being, "too honest".

So, this weekend could go either way. I'm silently pleading with the Lord to really challenge me and TEACH me, to remove distractions (aka: my sick-at-home hubby taking care of our child alone) and show me how to really LOVE people. It's been too long since I've led someone to the Lord - to my shame, and... I want to dig my heels in for Christ and be bold for Him! I have a street full of neighbors who NEED this truth, family members who need it, teens in the youth group who need it...

I am so thankful for my relationship with the all-knowing KING of KINGS. I'm thankful that He knows and understands me and little by little tears down my walls and defenses - rendering me totally and wonderfully dependant on Him. And I'm thankful for these reminders...

Psalm 56:11
"In God I have put my trust;

I will not be afraid.

What can man do to me?"

Romans 8:31-39

31 "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? 33 Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written: “ For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."